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Big Ten Power Rankings: Week 1

Just a spoonful of rankings helps the week go by quicker.

Week 1 Power Rankings

Well, I’m not sure much of anything changed opinions after the first week of games but it was good to finally get a chance to see what some of these teams had to offer. Like Disney World, some of the traditional rides have staying power and will remain at the top of everyone’s list, others are there to just pass the time, and new rides are being built in hopes of revitalizing thoughts on an old favorite.

Thanks again to our wonderful fans and readers who have helped us along on this adventure to give us their own rankings. You’ve got a friend in Ryan and I as we look toward our rankings this week in hopes of taking you to infinity...or at least a ten-minute break from your job without your boss knowing!

Ryan’s Rankings:

1: Michigan (-)
I just hope the Jim Harbaugh funeral was nice. #4JIM
2: Ohio State (-)
Could they have looked better? Of course. Are the Buckeyes already focused on Notre Dame in week 4. Probably.
3: Penn State (-)
Drew Allar looks legit. This will likely be a 3-horse race in the East.
4: Wisconsin (-)
New coach, new style, same results. Was really hoping for the downfall of the Badgers.
5: Iowa (-)
Iowa should be lower, but no other team instilled that much confidence this weekend. The Iowa offense DID NOT meet their quota this week.
6: Maryland (+1)
Beating up on an FCS team is what you’re supposed to do. Not much can be learned in these games.
7: Minnesota (+2)
Yes, they beat Nebraska but it certainly wasn’t a pretty game on Thursday night.
8: Michigan State (+2)
Beating a middling MAC team looked pretty difficult in the first half.
9: Purdue (-3)
Fully healthy, Purdue looks like it will reflect a Big 12 team (lots of points on the board). Ryan Walters has some work to do to sure up the defense.
10: Illinois (-2)
It took a miracle 4th down pass to beat Toledo. A lot was left to be desired for Illinois.
11: Nebraska (-)
The curse of Scott Frost continues as the Matt Rhule era begins. What a shame.
12: Rutgers (-)
Until Rutgers beats a non-Northwestern team, nobody is going to believe they are on the rise. The only game easier than this one will be against Wagner.
13: Indiana (-)
At least the game was over by 6 so the students could still have a full night to party.
14: Northwestern (-)
Bright side: they might win 2 games against UTEP and Howard. MIGHT.

Jed’s Rankings:

1: Michigan (-)
Missing their head coach and that likely being a distraction doesn’t drop UM if they win without really breaking a sweat.
2: Ohio State (-)
Not going to punish them for sleepwalking against one of the worst B1G teams in Week 1.
3: Penn State (-)
PSU was probably the most impressive in the B1G in week 1...but the others not losing doesn’t move them up.
4: Wisconsin (+3)
Well, what was that about Wisconsin not running the ball anymore? Two rushers over 100 yards in a spread offense makes them really difficult to defend.
5: Iowa (-1)
I mean can we really be impressed with a 24 point game against a mediocre opponent? Not really but that defense is still nasty and if the offense figures it out, they’ll be real good.
6: Maryland (-)
Can the Terps actually be good this year? They may have the best QB in the conference and the weapons around him seem capable this year. We’ll see when they start facing the actual meat of their schedule.
7: Minnesota (+3)
Starting your season off with a B1G conference win will always bump you up the rankings and we still aren’t sure how good Nebraska might be. The Fighting Flecksters appear to be a solid football team again but not sure of where their ceiling truly is.
8: Michigan State (+1)
Mel Tucker appears to still be struggling to get his footing post-Kenneth Walker. The team looked a bit improved over last year but when you have the three best teams in the conference in your division, there is probably only so much you can do. At best, MSU is the 4th best team in their division and with Maryland having such a good QB they may be 5th.
9: Illinois (-4)
For an Illinois team that was supposed to be vastly improved and have one of the best defensive lines in the country, that sure was underwhelming. Bielema has the Illini moving in the right direction and they don’t appear to have the bottoming out capabilities like they had in years past, but this might be a struggle this season.
10: Nebraska (+1)
Year one for Matt Rhule might be a bit more of a struggle than many expected. A loss to Minnesota isn’t a bad one but the way they just seemed to still ‘Nebraska’ another loss seems indicative of how this season will go.
11: Purdue (-3)
Dropping a home game to a non P5 program isn’t a great start to the Ryan Walters era. The defense showed holes and offense couldn’t string enough points together at key times.
12: Rutgers (-)
Are they decent or just lucky to get Northwestern week 1?
13: Indiana (-)
Still not sold on their quarterback or anything else on offense other than Jaylin Lucas...but the defense looks improved.
14: Northwestern (-)
I mean, Mildcats would be putting it...mildly.

Fans Rankings:

1: Michigan (-)
Avg rank: 1.14
2: Penn State (+1)
Avg rank: 2.38
3: Ohio State (-1)
Avg rank: 2.51
4: Wisconsin (-)
Avg rank: 4.86
5: Iowa (-)
Avg rank: 5.29
6: Maryland (+1)
Avg rank: 6.76
7: Michigan State (+3)
Avg rank: 7.68
8: Minnesota (-)
Avg rank: 7.86
9: Illinois (-)
Avg rank: 8.44
10: Purdue (-4)
Avg rank: 9.86
11: Nebraska (-)
Avg rank: 10.99
12: Rutgers (-)
Avg rank: 11.10
13: Indiana (-)
Avg rank: 12.28
14: Northwestern (-)
Avg rank: 13.85

B1G Teams as Disney Rides:

Michigan: Jungle Cruise
Probably the best of the original rides at Disney that has staying power and doesn’t really ever leave you unsatisfied. Even if it is boring and isn’t as thrilling as Space Mountain (Ohio State), it is a ride that is a blue blood and is always going to be good no matter how old it gets.
Ohio State: Space Mountain
The flashiest of the original rides to Disney, Space Mountain is another traditional powerhouse but with a little more flare than the Tea Cups, Jungle Cruise, or Pirates of the Caribbean. Ohio State is a traditional power but seems to have a bit more flare for the dramatic than the likes of USC, Michigan, and Alabama.
Penn State: The Haunted Mansion
There is one ghost that Penn St cannot get over. The ghost of Joe Paterno still haunts the program as they cannot return to the mountaintop. James Franklin and company are going to have to exercise their demons to finally take over the east. Of course, that “ghost of JoePa” could just be Michigan and Ohio State under a sheet.
Wisconsin: Splash Mountain...errr, I mean Tiana’s Bayou Adventure
Just like the perennial fan favorite ride at Disney World, Wisconsin went through an upgrade from their previous coaching staffs by hiring Luke Fickell. The thing is, even though the cosmetics of the ride changed, it is still Splash Mountain at its’ core. The same could be said of Wisconsin as they still had two running backs bruise their way to 100+ yards and dominated the ground game.
Iowa: Mad Hatter Tea Cups
Listen, you know what you are going to get when you get on this ride. You are going to spin yourself dizzy and then try not to vomit from what you just experienced. That’s Iowa football in a nutshell with a Ferentz at the helm as the offensive coordinator. Just try to hold on and not vomit when it is over.
Maryland: Turtle Talk with Crush
I mean, come on now. How much easier can you make this one for us? A chance to talk with a comical turtle who doesn’t always fully understand where he is? Maryland is the most out of place school on the B1G map, that is until the PAC 12 decided to make themselves Midwesterners.
Minnesota: Living with the Land
Of course, this ride takes place in a boat and Minnesota inexplicably has the motto to Row the Boat. But also, this ride is never the top ride and usually, people only ride to get out of the hot sun. The Minnesota program is not flashy but provides a steady ride through the water where we learn about food that likely goes into their massive offensive lineman.
Michigan State: Pirates of the Caribbean
The brand is instantly recognizable to everyone. The problem is that it has become a bit stale recently. Sure, the movies (basketball program) are still huge and riddled with stars, but this side of the brand is not what is used to be.
Illinois: Dumbo, The Flying Elephant
This program has had its ups and downs over the past decades, but the ups have never been too high (the kids might get scared) and the lows have never been too low (can’t hit the ground). Those who choose to get on this ride get a nice pace and although the head of the ride looks big and goofy, at least you know it’s safe.
Nebraska: It’s A Small World
We all know how great of a ride Small World is but at some point aren’t you annoyed with being told by all those people who clamor about Disney’s old days? Similar to all of those Nebraska fans who want to tell us about how their sellout streak matters and how great they were decades ago. Will the Cornhuskers always be a staple you have to enjoy while being a fan of college football? Yes, but just like the song in the ride it does get annoying when it is repetitive and you have to experience it more than once a visit.
Purdue: Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway
Under first year head coach Ryan Walters, Purdue fans have been on a high just like the song on the ride says: ‘Nothing can stop us now. I’ll tell you how. We’re gonna make it better.’ Purdue fans can tell you how to make it better but will the ride be a runaway disaster or will Walters be able to make it work out in the end?
Rutgers: Swiss Family Treehouse
Rutgers is long going to be remembered as the team that is in the B1G and most people think ‘I thought they got rid of them when expansion happened to make room for those other programs?’ The same could be said for this experience at Disney where people totally forget it is a thing until you accidently wander into it...just like a Rutgers football game at noon.
Indiana: Monsters Inc. Laugh Floor
When you are the worst power 5 football team in history because you are the first to 700 program losses, you get laughed at. This one was a no brainer and even Mike Wazowski said it best about Indiana’s offense this past weekend: “I don’t like big moving things that are moving towards me.”
Northwestern: The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
Something I did not know when actually riding this ride for the first time, there are multiple rises and drops. Lately, the Wildcats have done just that, going 10-3, then 9-5, then 3-9, then 7-2 from 2017-2020. The Pat Fitzgerald situation appears to be the conclusion of the final big drop. Now we escape the Twilight Zone and Northwestern is back to being just awful.

Upcoming Rides: We liked this topic so much that we decided to add the future members.

UCLA: Test Track
We all know how much Chip Kelly loves to go fast. Too bad for the new play clock rules.
USC: Rock ’n’ Rollercoaster
An absolute staple to the overall park landscape. This ride runs fast and somehow has not become stale despite still featuring Aerosmith.
Oregon: Soarin’ Around the World
It’s funny how the brain makes associations, but this one is obvious. In this ride, you fly. Ducks fly. Also, the ride features so many vibrant lands and colors (uniforms).
Washington: Slinky Dog Dash
Again, very obvious. Much like the actual ride location within Hollywood Studios, Washington is the furthest from the rest of the conference, deep in the corner.