Week 3 Power Rankings Review:
We’re back again with our weekly Big Ten Power Rankings and as per the usual, there’s chaos in the middle. This week we decided to give our Big Ten comparison to fast-food restaurants, and we think you’ll be ‘Lovin It’.
1: Michigan (-)
Beating a hapless Bowling Green by 25 seems normal. JJ McCarthy throwing 3 interceptions is not. At least they get the savior that is Jim Harbaugh back for Rutgers. (For what it’s worth, I’d like to see the Bears try and lure Jim to Chicago to replace Matt Eberflus).
2: Penn State (-)
Penn State played a stout front 7 on the road and still won by 17. Drew Allar did not look great in his Big Ten debut, but a win is a win.
3: Ohio State (-)
Yes, Ohio State blew the doors off of Western Kentucky. Yes, that was expected of them. No, they are not going to jump Michigan or Penn State at least until after they play Notre Dame.
4: Iowa (-)
I am going to assume that this will be the only time this season that Iowa hangs 40+ on the scoreboard. The Iowa offense met their quota for the first time this week! Offensive season average: 25.3 points.
5: Maryland (-)
Maryland started the Big Ten-ACC football challenge by exploding in the second half and outscoring Virginia 28-0. Sure, the game started 14-0 UVA, but Maryland was just sleepy on a Friday night (or something like that).
6: Wisconsin (+1)
Wisconsin got back to their winning ways against Georgia Southern but it also took a half to get going. The Badgers actually trailed 14-7 in the 3rd quarter before rattling off 28 unanswered points. Forcing 6 turnovers will help too.
7: Minnesota (+2)
Minnesota faced likely the best of the 6 ACC teams the Big Ten faced and the Golden Gophers lost by 18 to UNC. Minnesota QBs were awful in this game, but Darius Taylor is the next Minnesota RB that you have to ask “where the hell did this guy come from?”
8: Illinois (+2)
Another team that had terrible QB play. Luke Altmeyer threw 4 picks and the Illinois offense didn’t stand a chance. The reason Illinois rose was because their defense made Drew Allar look pedestrian. Jer’Zhan Newton is as good as pegged.
9: Rutgers (+2)
Rutgers is on the rise. The Scarlet Knights are 3-0 and still get a free win against Wagner. Two more wins (likely against IU and MSU) and they’re bowling. I’m actually kinda excited for this Rutgers-Michigan game this weekend.
10: Michigan State (-4)
Off the field issues are going to outweigh anything on it this season. Sad but true. On the field, MSU looked helpless against Michael Penix and Washington. Not sure they’ll be able to rebound as their next 4 games are against Maryland, Iowa, at Rutgers, and Michigan. Yikes.
11: Purdue (-3)
This team has issues that it needs to sort out in all phases of the game. They are at the top of the bottom four because they have an established QB and haven’t been a bottom feeder in a while.
12: Nebraska (-)
The Matt Rhule era has its first victory over Northern Illinois and Rocky Lombardi. Nebraska rightly benched Jeff Sims in favor of Heinrich Haarberg and the sophomore had a good day, throwing for 2 touchdowns and running for another to go along with 98 rushing yards. Momentum might be building as LA Tech comes to Lincoln this week, so Nebraska might be .500 again.
13: Indiana (-)
IU seems to have found their QB is Tayven Jackson who can sling the ball a bit. He’s still a bit raw but considering his brother, he’s already a hometown favorite. IU couldn’t beat Jeff Brohm and Louisville though, giving Jeff his very first win in Lucas Oil Stadium. Still, Indiana is not very good but can show flashes.
14: Northwestern (-)
In the battle of the snooty colleges, Northwestern lost and lost hard to Duke. The Wildcats refuse to play just one QB and that cannot be helpful for a consistency standpoint. On defense, things just don’t work in the front seven or secondary. Northwestern will be in the basement for a while.
1: Michigan Wolverines (+1)
2: Penn State Nittany Lions (-1)
3: Ohio State Buckeyes (-)
4: Iowa Hawkeyes (+1)
5: Maryland Terrapins (-)
6: Wisconsin Badgers (+1)
7: Minnesota Golden Gophers (+1)
8: Rutgers Scarlet Knights (+2)
9: Illinois Fighting Illini (+2)
10: Michigan State Spartans (-4)
11: Purdue Boilermakers (-2)
12: Nebraska Cornhuskers (-)
13: Indiana Hoosiers (-)
14: Northwestern Wildcats (-)
1: Michigan (-)
Avg rank: 1.39
2: Penn State (-)
Avg rank: 2.56
3: Ohio State (-)
Avg rank: 2.61
4: Iowa (-)
Avg rank: 5.00
5: Wisconsin (-)
Avg rank: 6.00
6: Maryland (+1)
Avg rank: 6.06
7: Minnesota (-1)
Avg rank: 7.83
8: Rutgers (+3)
Avg rank: 8.11
9: Illinois (+1)
Avg rank: 9.22
10: Purdue (-2)
Avg rank: 9.72
11: Michigan State (-2)
Avg rank: 10.11
12: Indiana (+1)
Avg rank: 11.56
13: Nebraska (-1)
Avg rank: 11.61
14: Northwestern (-)
Avg rank: 13.22
B1G Teams as Fast-Food Restaurants:
Michigan: Burger King
It’s a staple of fast food that is just consistent. Burger King may not be as flashy or glamourous as McDonalds, but they definitely have their victories over the golden arches (the Whopper is better than the Big Mac and onion rings are an elite side). And I cannot fail to mention how it can be so annoying at times. Because at “BEEEEEE-K, have it your way!”
Penn State: Penn Station Subs
I mean the name was right there. East Coast subs are vastly different than the midwestern cold cuts, and it’s somewhat hard to envision them centrally located.
Ohio State: McDonalds
BK may be king, but McDonalds holds the crown. It has been the biggest hitter for decades and never seems to be outside people’s top 3.
Much like that original recipe, Iowa hasn’t changed in decades. Coincidentally, the 11 herbs and spices seem to equal the points Iowa’s offense scores a game.
No restaurant screams Wisconsin quite like Culvers. It started in Wisconsin, it uses cheese and dairy from Wisconsin, and it serves what I assume is the state fried food of Wisconsin, cheese curds. Easy choice.
Before the comments (and Andrew) come for me, I know that Maryland spice and Cajun spice are not the same. But Maryland just seems like the closest to New Orleans, right? With Popeye’s putting out all the shrimp and fish dishes, it makes sense to me.
Arby’s has the meats and often times, so does Minnesota’s offensive line. I mean, they grow em big out there, as some guys are like 6’7 and 380 lbs. I’m guessing those guys have had their fair share of fast-food in their days.
Rutgers: Jersey Mike’s Subs
At this stage of the game, I am actually jealous of this one. Rutgers is showing promise this season and Jersey Mike’s gets to have Danny DeVito in their commercials.
Illinois just feels like a burger joint. Bert could probably take down a few Baconators and finish it off with a nice Frosty. At times, Wendy’s is overlooked but it shows the ability to be great sometimes.
Purdue: Jimmy Johns
Used to be Freaky Fast but has definitely lost a step or two. Now they feature wraps, so hopefully the tackling improves.
Michigan State: Papa Johns
Riddled with scandal among top ranked personnel, but actually puts out a good product usually. The sauce on the side (uniforms) are lovely too except for one. I’ll leave you all to guess which sauce and uniform I’m referring to.
For when you want a sandwich in which the bread is stale, and the ingredients are not good. Mediocrity at its finest and I’m not sure anyone has eaten fresh in years. Plus, there’s that other IU-Subway connection...
Nebraska: Taco Bell
Much like their fans, it’s always way too salty and going there just makes you feel awful about 3 hours later.
Northwestern: White Castle
Chicago usually claims it but it’s the type of restaurant that you really only get to about one or two times a year, much like Northwestern’s team and wins.
It hits seemingly every time but is somehow overrated still.
UCLA: In-N-Out Burger
A western staple that is making its way east after years of western popularity. Where have I heard that one before?
When you want to stuff every possible scrap of food (uniforms) into a burrito. Guac (defense) is extra, however.
Washington: Long John Silvers
Being that Washington’s campus is in Seattle, known for its fish, this choice is easy. Plus, Huskies almost sounds like Hush Puppies.
**Note** I am not considering Starbucks fast-food otherwise the Seattle tie would be even more obvious.