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The Big Ten: Taylor’s Version

Taylor Swift has a song for everything and now there is one for every Big Ten team

Syndication: The Enquirer Sam Greene/The Enquirer / USA TODAY NETWORK

I’m going to start doing a weekly article about random things happening either at Purdue or just the Big Ten in general. If you’re looking for stats or analyzing opposing teams’ offensive schemes, then you’ve come to the wrong place. But if Mung gets in a twitter war with another school’s Athletic Director and you want to read about it, then I’m your girl. They don’t pay me enough to not have at least a little fun with this. I’m still trying to come up with a name so if you are creative like that, drop some suggestions in the comments. Gossip with Gabi? Tuesday Tea? Okay, you guys have to have something better than that.

Taylor Swift, love her or hate her, just seems to take over everything she’s involved with. From the music industry, to clothes, to now the NFL. With Purdue in it’s “Revenge Era” I wanted to pick a Taylor Swift song title that describes each Big Ten team. I admit, I’m a big Swiftie so this gave me an excuse to just blast her music while I wrote and some of them fit all too well. These are in no particular order of actual power rankings or how much I like the song, just whatever team or song I thought of next.

Purdue- Forever and Always

This is pretty self- explanatory. Purdue could be a 1 seed and lose to a 16 seed (literally) and we still come back every year hoping for that final four. They’re like a boyfriend who does something bad but brings you flowers so you forgive them. We forgive you, Purdue. Forever and Always, Boilermakers.

Illinois- Bad Blood

What is it about Illinois? Is it their annoying presence on social media? Brad Underwood? That crazy mom who went after Brian Neubert? All the above? I think it’s all of it and we’ve come to have some bad blood with this new rivalry.

Michigan State- Cruel Summer

Oh, Michigan State, what happened? We heard all off-season how you were the favorite to win the Big Ten and Final Four bound. Maybe Izzo will turn it around and get you back into the tournament or maybe you’ll look back at the cruel summer of unmet expectations.

IU- Everything Has Changed.

Gone are the days of Bob Knight and being a perennial blue blood. Yeah, they still like to lump themselves in with the likes of Kansas and Duke but really, everything has changed. I don’t think Woody will be the guy to get them back into the golden age and I don’t know if a coach will ever please that fan base again.

Northwestern- Look What You Made Me Do

Of course Northwestern loses to Chicago state last night in front of a handful of fans after selling out and upsetting us a couple weeks ago. We power through the Maui invitational and land at #1 just to lose a few days later. Look what you made us do, Boo Buie.

Rutgers- I Knew You Were Trouble.

If it’s not Northwestern, Its’ Rutgers. They upset us two seasons in a row after hitting #1. There physicality is always trouble for us and if we are playing at the RAC? Well, just forget about it.

Michigan- Should’ve Said No

Juwan Howard looks to be on the hot seat after a few misconduct incidents (did he really punch someone again?) Right now, he has an 84-53 record as head coach, they missed the tournament last year and will probably miss it again this year. Michigan should’ve said no with this hire.

Penn State- The Way I loved You.

The way I loved to root for Penn State last year when they weren’t playing us. I loved Coach Shrews; he’s a great coach and I was happy to see him have so much success in his first year. He was so good that Notre Dame poached him away. A coaching change, struggling season and no ties to Purdue anymore? Sorry, but this illicit affair is over.

Ohio State- Better than Revenge

Is there anything better than beating Ohio State? Maybe it’s because they dominate us in football so when basketball comes around and Jaden Ivey or Fletcher Loyer hit a 3 to win the game, yeah, it’s better than revenge.

Wisconsin- Champagne Problems

I picked Champagne problems for Wisconsin solely for alcohol being in the song title. Wisconsinians love to drink and after getting blown out by Arizona Saturday, well sometimes they need to drink.

Iowa- You Need to Calm Down.

FRAN! You really do need to calm down. He got two technicals and ejected from Sunday’s game against Michigan. He lost it and got a tech at Purdue. There’s a reason people post the Fran-con picture every time Iowa plays.

Nebraska- I Don’t Wanna Live Forever.

Nebraska started the season strong but then blew a 15-point lead in the second half against Minnesota. They turned it around by beating Michigan State, but I don’t know if that win means much right now. The Cornhuskers haven’t made the NCAA tournament since 2014, will they squeak in this year? They surely can’t live like this forever.

Maryland- I Did Something Bad.

And by something, I mean everything. The Terps are just not a very good team this year and have abysmal shooting. It’s hard to win games if you struggle putting the ball in the hoop. They just squeaked a win against Penn State, but the Nittany Lions aren’t very good either so it’s going to be a rough year for Kevin Willard.

Minnesota- I Forgot That You Existed

I really do just forget about you Minnesota. Even when I was making this list, they were the last team I thought of. Maybe I block them out of my memory ever since the Hummel incident at the Barn or maybe it’s because they haven’t been in the NCAA tournament since 2019. They’re just a very meh team to me.