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Central Florida and Purdue Involved in MOON FIGHT

Because it is 2019 and we must be ANGRY ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Rice v Texas Photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Images

Purdue has a lengthy involvement with NASA and the space program. A grand total of 25 Purdue graduates have been to space, including Gus Grissom (one of the original Mercury 7 and the second American in space), Gene Cernan (The last man to walk on the moon), Neil Armstrong (The first man to walk on the moon), and one of my favorites, Dr. David Wolf. Wolf once famously stated, “you don’t truly know silence until you’re on Mir and the power goes out.”

Because this year marks the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing and Neil Armstrong’s little stroll, for Homecoming on Saturday Purdue is wearing special space themed uniforms. They are all white uniforms with a gold facemask to resemble the original Apollo gold helmet face plates and they also feature a fantastic patch commemorating both 50 years since Neil’s walk and 150 years of Purdue as a university. The P on the helmet also has a moon crater look, which has made one fan base VERY MAD ONLINE.

That fanbase is... Central Florida!?!

Really? The moon has a copyright now? You can rip off how the surface of the moon looks? I checked with our resident almost lawyer on staff in Jumboheroes and he confirmed that the moon is not, indeed copywritten. If the Tick taught us anything the moon says “CHA” not “UCF” thanks to the efforts of Chairface Chippendale:

This has not stopped a Twitter feud from erupting between Purdue faithful and Central Florida faithful:

Imagine trying to step to and swing NASA accomplishment dick at Purdue of all schools. A surveillance of college football Twitter seems to reveal that this is a common sort of stance from Central Florida fans.

I think this can only mean we need a new home and home coming up with Central Florida. They have often complained about Power 5 teams not giving them a chance with fair home-and-homes, but Purdue did just that 20 years ago. In 1998, my freshman year, The Golden Knights came to West Lafayette and it was a matchup of two of the better quarterbacks in college football as a young Drew Brees faced off against Dante Culpepper. Brees threw for 223 yards and 2 TDs, J. Crabtree had 118 yards and a TD on the ground, fellow Kokomo alum Dondre Johnson ran for a TD, and Purdue had a 100 yard interception return for a score as the Boilers won 35-7.

A year later Purdue went to Orlando (where no one else will go because really, Disney is a money pit) and they were Brees’d again. In the season opener as Purdue won 47-13. Brees threw for 273 yards and 4 TDs. Purdue was so dominant that kicker Travis Dorsch threw a TD pass on a blocked field goal:

That makes Purdue 2-0 in the all-time series with Central Florida. This still didn't stop Nick Saban from picking Culpepper over Brees when he was head coach of the Dolphins. That’s just another way Purdue OWNS Saban. Yet Central Florida wanted ‘bama after the 2017 season.

We’re even 3-0 counting the fact that we run this moon shit, and 4-0 if you count the basketball team’s 98-67 win in the 1994 NCAA Tournament as a 1 over 16 game in the NCAA Tournament. That was their first of only five NCAA Tournament appearances and they finally won a first round game this year, beating VCU before falling to Duke 77-76 in a game they probably should have won.

Real moon schools are never 16 seeds in the NCAA Tournament. Sorry.

Let’s get back to the moon, however. Central Florida only claims three astronaut alumni, including John Young, the ninth person to walk on the moon, but when you look closer, his connection to Central Florida is an HONORARY DEGREE! He really went to Georgia Tech.

So this stolen valor-ass program is out claiming national titles, claiming a copyright on what the moon looks like, and now claiming they have been there too? Bitch please!

Looks like the next round will be settled on November 2nd when Scott Frost brings Nebraska to West Lafayette, and we’re already 1-0 against him, too.

I bet even Gru went to Purdue.