Winning Time

Purdue did a lot of losing under Darrell Hazell. Jeff Brohm gave us a taste of winning last year, so naturally we wanted more. The 0-2 start to the season has made it reach a full-fledged craving, so maybe we can talk Missouri of out the game Saturday night. We need to get a W, and that had me curious: Which teams do we have the longest active win streaks against? Let’s find out.

Chicago Maroons – 9 wins, 14-27-1 all-time

Reviving the Chicago athletics programs and bringing them back to the Big Ten would have been so much better than adding Rutgers. As a bonus, Northwestern would have a rival and we were just making headway in the all-time series when they left. Come back, Maroons! We miss you after 82 years.

Butler Bulldogs – 9 wins, 9-3 all-time

We played them as recently as 1940 and they are an FCS team, but since they are in the non-scholarship Pioneer League a win over them would not count towards bowl eligibility. Too bad, too. They are probably better than Indiana State.

Ohio Bobcats – 8 wins, 8-0 all-time

We beat Ohio last year for Jeff Brohm’s first win as Purdue coach, but it was the first time in 29 years we had played them. We’re still 8-0 against Ohio all-time. They just barely beat Howard to start the season, too. They almost had their game with Virginia cancelled this weekend due to the hurricane, and it was moved to Nashville, instead. Let’s get them on the phone, redirect the bus here, and send Missouri to face Virginia.

Ball State Cardinals – 8 wins, 8-0 all-time

I think we can talk Indiana into this. It wasn’t that long ago that IU was on a three game losing streak to their rivals from Muncie. We’re a spotless 8-0 against the Cards. They play at Indiana this weekend, so a trade with Missouri is fine. Indiana famously won the SEC East over Mizzou a few years ago, so let’s give the Tigers a shot at revenge.

DePauw Tigers – 7 wins, 26-1 all-time

Sure, we haven’t played in 89 years, but that just means the hatred has been simmering. We’ll even come down to Greencastle. How’s that?

Rose Hulman Fightin’ Engineers – 7 wins, 7-0 all-time

Really? The “Fightin’” Engineers? Are you gonna come at us with slide rules? We’ll send your asses back to Terre Haute with your first loss to us since 1925.

Marquette Golden Eagles – 5 wins, 5-0 all-time

Who cares if they don’t have a football team? That’s just a front to avoid playing us since 1949.

Indiana State Sycamores – 5 wins, 5-0 all-time

This would be kind of boring since they are on the schedule three times next decade, so pass. They deserve a break after losing to Hazell twice.

Missouri Tigers – 4 wins, 5-1 all-time

Hmmmm. Maybe we shouldn’t be so scared. Technically this is our longest active win streak against a power 5 program.

Western Michigan Broncos – 4 wins, 4-0 all-time

WE SCHEDULED THE WRONG DIRECTIONAL MICHIGAN! Who would they rather face this weekend: A Delaware State team they’ll blow out or Purdue for a chance at a B1G win? Tim Lester is even a former assistant.

Miami (OH) Redhawks – 4 wins, 9-3-1 all-time

All ties must be avenged at all times, and Miami is already facing a Big Ten team this weekend at Minnesota. I think it is an easy trade.

Earlham Quakers – 4 wins, 4-0 all-time

We haven’t played them in 110 years. Quitters.

Beloit Buccaneers – 4 wins, 4-0 all-time

Not only are we 4-0 all-time against the Bucs, they have never even scored a point against us! It’s perfect! It’s only been 103 years.

Case Spartans – 3 wins, 3-0 all-time

I think this means Case Western Reserve? It just says “Case” in the media guide. Anyway, we haven’t given up a point to them, either. The last game was 1928.

Kansas State Wildcats – 3 wins, 3-0 all-time

Oh, we remember the Alamo. I doubt people remember the first two matchups back in 1929 and 1932, but that Alamo Bowl was a lot of fun, wasn’t it? Ironically, we can take the place of Texas-San Antonio this week.

Arizona Wildcats – 3 wins, 3-0 all-time

Alum Kevin Sumlin is off to a rough start and Khalil Tate had a great bowl game against us. We’re a better challenge than Southern Utah, for sure.

Franklin Grizzlies – 3 wins, 6-0-1 all-time

Much like Rose Hulman and DePauw, we haven’t played Franklin in 91 years. No time like the present!

Wabash Little Giants – 2 wins, 19-8-2 all-time

Screw divisions, I want to play Wabash again and beat up on them! Our first rival hasn’t played us in 90 years, but just got a measure of revenge since Eastern Michigan’s coach used to coach there. SCREW WABASH!

Alabama Crimson Tide - 0 wins, 0-0 all-time

Nah, Saban is still scared since he lost 3 straight against us.