FanPost

A LITTLE UPDATE ON TEAMS THAT ARENT PURDUE FOR ALL YOU SKY-IS-FALLING, HEAD-UP-YOUR-NIHILISTIC-ASS MFERS

GOOD F*CKIN EVENING, SAINTERS AND AINTERS ALIKE, ITS YOUR OLD PAL ITSALWAYSSANDI HERE TO BE THE VOICE OF REASON AS SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY F*CKING WATCHES OTHER TEAMS BESIDES PURDUE PLAY BEFORE MAKING BROAD PROCLAMATIONS OF WHAT THIS TEAM IS OR ISNT CAPABLE OF ACHIEVING THIS YEAR.

MANY OF YOU SEEM TO THINK WE ARE THE WORST TEAM IN HISTORY AFTER LOSING BACK TO BACK GAMES TO TOP 10 TEAMS (ohio state WILL soon be a top 10 team), ONE OF WHICH WAS IN THE #4 TEAM'S OWN BUILDING AND THE OTHER OF WHICH WAS BY A POINT, AND I CANT SAY THAT I DONT SEE WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM...OH WAIT! I DONT, AND I THINK ALL OF YOU WHO ARE SAYING "OH THIS IS JUST ANOTHER SWEET SIXTEEN-LOOKIN ASS PURDUE TEAM THAT IS HEADED FOR A 3 SEED" ARE BEING MORONIC. (i didnt say you were morons...i just said your actions were moronic in this particular scenario.)

WELL IM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT ALL THE OTHER TEAMS IN THE COUNTRY SUCK AS BAD AS WE DO AND WE WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY STILL GET A 2 SEED AND COULD VERY WELL STILL GET A 1 SEED AND SO IF YOULL PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR POOP SACKS, FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS, AND GIVE ME YOUR ATTENTION, I WILL TELL YOU WHY:

#1 VILLANOVA...OH THATS RIGHT, THE TEAM THAT JUST BROKE ST. JOHN'S 11-GAME BIG EAST LOSING STREAK BY DROPPING A GAME TO THEM AT VILLANOVA?? THE TEAM THAT ESSENTIALLY HAS A 6-MAN ROTATION DUE TO 2 STARTERS BEING INJURED DUE TO TWO OF THEIR TOP 6 PLAYERS BEING HURT? THE TEAM THAT, MAY I REPEAT, JUST LOST TO ST. JOHNS WHO, DUKE WIN ASIDE, IS ONLY 13-13 DESPITE NEARLY HALF OF THEIR SCHEDULE BEING CUPCAKES TO THIS POINT AND WHOSE BEST WIN AGAINST A TEAM NOT NAMED DUKE CAME HOSTING NEBRASKA? YEAH THIS VILLANOVA TEAM IS THE STUFF FINAL FOUR CONTENDERS ARE MADE OF

#2 VIRGINIA...OH THATS RIGHT, THE TEAM THAT JUST LET THEIR UNRANKED BUBBLE TEAM ARCH RIVALS ERASE A 5 POINT DEFICIT WITH UNDER 40 SECONDS TO GO IN OVERTIME TO LOSE? WITH SAID ARCHRIVAL BEING AN UNRANKED BUBBLE TEAM, I MIGHT ADD? AND ALL THIS HAPPENED IN VIRGINIA'S OWN BUILDING?? AND THIS TEAM REALLY ISNT ALL THAT BIG ON OFFENSIVE TALENT AND COULD SHOOTING SLUMP THEIR WAY OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT IN THE SWEET SIXTEEN? YEAHHHH WISH PURDUE COULD FIELD THIS KIND OF TEAM INSTEAD OF THE GARBAGE WE ARE SUBJECTED TO THIS YEAR

#4 MICHIGAN STATE...OH THE TEAM WE ALMOST JUST BEAT IN THEIR OWN F*CKING BUILDING???? IM NOT EVEN GOING TO SAY ANY MORE ON THEM.

#5 XAVIER...OH THE TEAM THAT NEEDED SOME QUESTIONABLE OFFICIATING TO BEAT AN UNRANKED CREIGHTON TEAM RIGHT AFTER PREVIOUS TWO GAMES WENT TO OVERTIME AGAINST TWO OTHER F*CKING SH*TBAG UNRANKED TEAMS??? HMMM AT LEAST THEY CAN BEAT TEAMS NOT RANKED IN THE CURRENT TOP 25 WHICH PURDUE CLEARLY CAN'T DO EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT THEY'VE DONE IT ALL YEAR EXCEPT FOR ONCE AGAINST A PRETTY DECENT F*CKING WESTERN KENTUCKY TEAM IN A BALLROOM 2.5 MONTHS AGO

#6 CINCINNATI...OH RIGHT THE TEAM WHOSE BEST WIN CAME AGAINST ONE OF THE MOST MEDIOCRE UCLA TEAMS IN MY LIFETIME AND WHOSE OFFENSE RANKS IN THE 50s ON KENPOM AS OPPOSED TO OURS THAT RANKS 4TH? WHOSE COACH COULDNT CREATE AN ELITE, EFFICIENT OFFENSIVE TEAM IF HIS LIFE DEPENDED ON IT? RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT TOO BAD MATT PAINTER CAN ONLY MAKE HIS TEAM GOOD AT THREE LEVELS OF OFFENSE INSTEAD OF 0

#7 TEXAS TECH...OH RIGHT THE TEAM WHO BY THE TIME THE NEW RANKINGS COME OUT WITH SH*TSACK TREY YOUNG U NOT EVEN ON THEM, WILL HAVE 4 LOSSES TO UNRANKED OPPONENTS? WHOSE OFFENSE RANKS 9 SPOTS LOWER THAN CINCINNATI'S? MAN I WISH WE HAD A PROGRAM THAT JUST DEMANDED EXCELLENCE FROM THEIR BASKETBALL TEAM LIKE TEXAS TECH DOES

#8 AUBURN...I COULD TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT AND SAY "OH IT'S JUST F*CKING AUBURN BASKETBALL" BUT INSTEAD ILL TELL YOU ABOUT HOW WHILE WE WERE BUSY EMBARRASSING OURSELVES WITH 1-3 POINTS LOSSES TO TOP 10 CALIBER OPPONENTS, AUBURN WAS OFF LOSING AT HOME TO UNRANKED TEXAS A&M. MAN OH MAN I WISH WE CHEERED FOR A PROGRAM WHERE BEATING UNRANKED TEAMS WASNT EVEN A QUESTION.

#9 DUKE...NOW DUKE, THERE'S A PROGRAM WHERE THEY DEMAND EXCELLENCE AND DONT SETTLE FOR SWEET SIXTEENS AND DONT HAVE A LOSERS MENTALITY. WHICH I GUESS THEY MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN TO NOT HAVE WHEN THEY LOST TO THREE POTENTIAL NON-TOURNAMENT TEAMS IN BOSTON COLLEGE, ST. JOHNS, AND NC STATE THIS SEASON BECAUSE THEY HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY GOSHAWFUL DEFENSE THAT KENPOM PUTS AT 79TH IN THE NATION. MAN WHAT I WOULDNT GIVE TO HAVE A CONSISTENT TEAM LIKE DUKE HAS THAT DOESNT INSIST ON BUILDING UP ITS FANS HOPES ONLY TO LET THEM DOWN

#10 KANSAS...OH YES KANSAS THE TEAM THAT LOST 4 HOME GAMES, 6 GAMES TOTAL, AND, AFTER THE NEW RANKINGS COME OUT AND TRAE YOUNG U IS LEFT OFF OF THEM, WILL HAVE A WHOPPING 5 LOSSES TO UNRANKED OPPONENTS. I WISH I COULD HAVE THIS TEAM INSTEAD OF OUR DOGSH*T TEAM BECAUSE CLEARLY THEY ARE PRIMING THEMSELVES TO PEAK IN MARCH INSTEAD OF JANUARY.

#11 ST. MARY'S AND #12 GONZAGA...OH RIGHT THESE TEAMS PLAY IN THE WCC WHERE THEIR TOUGHEST COMPETITION BESIDES EACH OTHER FROM JANUARY TO MARCH IS FREAKING BRIGHAM YOUNG...AND THEY STILL BOTH HAVE EITHER THE SAME NUMBER OF LOSSES AS PURDUE OR ONE LESS LOSS AND A MARQUEE WIN OF VS. DAYTON. WHY DONT WE JUST MOVE TO THE WCC OURSELVES SINCE WE HAVE BEEN PLAYING LIKE A WCC TEAM AND NOT CLOSING OUT WINS OVER TOP 4 TEAMS ON THE ROAD.

#13 ARIZONA...OH RIGHT WE BEAT THEM BY 25 F*CKING POINTS


#14 OHIO STATE...ok clearly these guys are actually pretty good but that's beside the point and also they lost to Penn State at home sooooo

#15 TENNESSEE...OH RIGHT THEY JUST LOST BY 28 POINTS TO AN UNRANKED OPPONENT TONIGHT

#16 CLEMSON...OH RIGHT THEY WEREN'T THAT GOOD BEFORE THEIR BEST PLAYER WENT DOWN FOR THE SEASON

EVERYF*CKINGONE ELSE...THEY ARE ALL INCONSISTENT HOT GARBAGE AND COULD LOSE AGAINST A PLUCKY 13 SEED IN A HEARTBEAT.

SO YOU CAN KEEP ON PEDDLING THE NARRATIVE OF "OH THIS IS JUST ANOTHER GARBAGE PURDUE TEAM AND WE ARE DESTINED TO LOSE IN THE SWEET SIXTEEN BECAUSE WE LOST TO TWO TOP TEN CALIBER TEAMS BY 4 TOTAL POINTS EVEN THOUGH 4 TOP TEN TEAMS AND NEARLY 5 LOST TO UNRANKED OPPONENTS THIS WEEK AND WE DIDNT" AND YOU CAN KEEP PEDDLING THE NARRATIVE OF "OH NOW WE ARE A 3 SEED FOR SURE" EVEN THOUGH WE OBJECTIVELY STILL HAVE A TOP 5 RESUME EASILY, OR YOU CAN SACK UP, PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND TO LOOK AT SOME COLD HARD FACTS AND WATCH A FEW GAMES NOT FEATURING THE BLACK AND GOLD, AND STOP GOING AROUND WITH YOUR STRAWMAN ARGUMENTS TELLING ME HOW CERTAIN YOU ARE THAT THIS TEAM THAT JUST WON 19-STRAIGHT GAMES SUCKS BECAUSE IT JUST LOST TO A COUPLE OF TOP TEN TEAMS AND HOW IT'S ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT OUR RECENT PERFORMANCES HAVE SHOWN THAT WE ARE SUREFIRE NOT A FINAL FOUR TEAM EVEN THOUGH THE REST OF COLLEGE BASKETBALL IS CRUMBLING DOWN AROUND US INTO CHAOS AS WE SPEAK.

SO GO BURN YOUR PURDUE GEAR BECAUSE WATCHING A GOOD BASKETBALL TEAM MAKES YOU SO SAD WHEN THEY LOSE 4 TIMES I 3 MONTHS BUT BOY F*CKING HOWDY, I WILL STILL BE HERE CHEERING ON WHAT IS OBJECTIVELY STILL ONE OF THE BEST TEAMS IN THE COUNTRY, YOU MASOCHISTIC NIHILIST B*STARDS

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