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You Can Be Purdue's Athletic Director!

The job has now officially been posted. Please, someone competent apply!

Sandra Dukes-USA TODAY Sports

After meetings with search committees and search firms it is official: Morgan Burke's job as athletic director is now officially posted and you can even apply for it! Sure, the likelihood of one of us plebes actually getting the job is slim, but it is fun to dream about anyway. Let's look at some of the key qualifications:

Outlining strategies and plans that produce championship-winning programs.

This is new, and it certainly was not in Burke's job description.

Provide creative and strategic leadership for the Purdue University intercollegiate athletic program.

How can you deliver performance on a bare minimum budget? Can you cut even more money out?

Improve the fan experience.

Winning would help a ton, please.

Be the visible and approachable face of the University’s intercollegiate athletics program to the public, the media, University faculty and staff, alumni, students, season ticket holders, John Purdue Club members, other supporters of the University and more broadly, the Big Ten and NCAA institutions, colleagues and partners.

Can you handle and deflect blame away from the President and Board of Trustees for hamstringing the entire department?

Shepherd the athletic department’s resources to ensure the effectiveness, efficiency and fiscal integrity of the department.

that huge Big Ten TV check? We're going to need some of that. Please keep it away from Mitch. I am pretty sure Bar Barry's can cash it for you.

Provide oversight and leadership in the design and implementation of the department’s public and media relations, promotions, revenue generation and marketing plans and strategies.

My requirement is that the new AD understands that greatly improving football is a huge way to improve revenue streams.

Establish relationships with student athlete alumni, encouraging their involvement in the program after graduation.

Mr. Kawann Short, that is a great new NFL contract you have. How would you like to give back?

Perform other duties as assigned by the President.

Like what, clean his house?

Now, onto the qualifications and skills required:

Past record of recruiting, hiring, and retaining successful coaches and staff.

Did you ever consider hiring John Shoop? If so, thank you for applying, but you are no longer being considered.

Demonstrated ability to secure funds for capital projects, program and facility improvements and overall departmental enhancements.

Do they have to be legal means of securing funds for capital projects? I am willing to be flexible if it means getting the complete Ross-Ade project done.

Successful experience in building and maintaining a successful BCS/FSB football program.

That is not my typo. It is actually in the listing. And you wonder why we can't compete in the Big Ten. We don't even know it is FBS, not FSB.

So have at it!