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The OTHER B1G Awards

These are the awards that really matter.

Wabbit season!
Wabbit season!
Mike Carter-USA TODAY Sports

While it's a great honor to be named first team all conference or be named the defensive player of the year these are the awards that really matter. The honors bestowed today are the ones players will tell their children about. I don't want to build them up too much but they are really the whipped cream and cherry on top of the basketball season.

The Talor Battle Award - Brandon Taylor Penn State

This is awarded annually to the best player on a team that clearly isn't going anywhere. Generally, this award goes to the one good player on Penn State. Talor Battle, Tim Frazier, etc. You get the picture. This award is sort of an honor to receive. It means you're better than the circumstances you find yourself in. Odds are you're not going to go to the NCAA Tournament if you're the winner of the Talor Battle award but the honor won't fade. Taylor averages 16 and 6 and has been really all Penn State has at times. Shep Garner has done his best but I gotta give this one to Taylor.

The Robbie Hummel Award- Caris LeVert

This award goes to the player who had a promising season cut short by an injury. Bonus points if the injury occurs to the leg (injury to the back would be half points). LeVert is one heck of a player that unfortunately has had some bad luck this season. What's worse for him is that this is his senior season. Unfortunate.

Northwestern Award - Northwestern

It's no surprise that Northwestern won the Northwestern award. It's given annually to the team in the conference who has never made the NCAA Tournament. Short of winning the conference tournament, they aren't winning the conference tournament, Northwestern will be home sad in March yet again. If you're a Northwestern fan instead of dreaming of winning the NCAA Title, the B1G title, or even and NIT title you just have to dream of making it to the tournament. There's always football season!

The Dickie V Award- Dan Dakich

The man, the myth, the legend, DD wins this one that is awarded to the most annoying announcer. We all know the blowhard former IU basketball coach who sits in his radio perch in Indy, and then wherever TV sends him, crapping on everyone else out there. Don't get me wrong the guy is incredibly smart basketball wise but he has a couple fatal flaws. He can't seem to respect people he disagrees with and he can;t seem to ever admit he's wrong. He has made plenty of mistakes, all of us have, but he's too stubborn to admit it and would rather be inflammatory. Such a shame.

Best Actor - Melo Trimble

Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. BACK. AND TO THE LEFT.

The Bo Ryan Award- Thad Matta

This award is given to the coach that looks most like a cartoon character. Bo Ryan had the monopoly on this award due to his uncanny resemblance to the Grinch. With his retirement though Thad's time is finally here. If you don't think Matta looks like Elmer Fudd you might need to go to the eye doctor.

The Tanya Harding Award - Minnesota Golden Gophers

This award goes to the team/player/coach that did their best to hurt themselves during the season. It's not as if Minnesota was ever going to win the conference but they certainly wouldn't have been as awful as they were this year if they hadn't...umm...been so involved in extracurricular activities.