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A Drinker's Guide to Purdue Football - Let's Do the Hokie Pokie

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The Boilers have invited the Hokies to West Lafayette, and that was probably a bad decision.

Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

As a twenty-seven year old quasi-adult with his own apartment and girlfriend, I struggle to find the middle ground at times. The Lady has a respectable job at the campus that provides the kind of consistency of pay and benefits I'm not used to as a bartender. Along with these benefits, her job expects her to wake up at a respectable hour of the morning and make it to work. As adults who've chosen to share their lives together, this has caused me to reassess my previous life of staying up till four in the morning and waking up some time after restaurant's lunch specials have ended.

So I now wake up every morning at 8:50 am, and usually go to bed by midnight. Because I love her. And also, because at some point even I have to grow up.

What does that have to do with you, lovely readers? Well, I struggle with the middle ground here, too. In my first drink of the week post, I admittedly took it a little easy on myself. I didn't research. I didn't fact check. I didn't even come up with the drink. I made jokes, you didn't laugh. Whatever. I'm a big boy, and it's easy to dismiss you internet folks. On my second drinking guide, I kept it vanilla. And boy, was the silence deafening.

So what is the middle ground? Do I need to start waking up earlier or do you need to stay up a little later?

That's the dirty secret about living a life for clicks. The bad stuff will always bring the views. The arrests this week has gotten every one swarming. The Irish. The Hoosiers. We bait and we attack and we lack the patience, the insight to see the nuance of the situation over the number of page views. We choose to incite instead of inspire, all of us, and that's on us more than you because we should be setting a better example, finding the middle ground for this little community of ours.

But enough high horsing, let's drink!

Drink of the Week:


Angry Balls

-1 bottle Angry Orchard

-1 shot Yukon Jack Wicked Hot

The name makes more sense if you use Fireball instead of Wicked Hot, but you'll thank me if you make the substitute. While fireball has taken to the Jager rage as the go to 'shots for all' drink at bars, there's plenty of better options for Cinnamon whiskey. Yukon Jack's Wicked Hot doesn't burn in the same petrol way that Fireball does, instead it leaves you with a gentle cooing warmth in your belly.

And again, simplicity is more important than anything. Just pop open a bottle of Angry Orchard, take a swig, and then pour a shot of Wicket Hot right into the bottle. You only need to buy a six pack and a bottle.

It's gonna be rainy and cold again tomorrow, so it'll be a perfect drink to combat the weather. As well, the game's likely to turn ugly quicker than not, you'll be glad to have the extra proofs in your drink.

A slight caution, you're cutting alcohol with alcohol. Don't forget that with each bottle, you're also downing a shot. And if people around you aren't aware what you're doing, they'll be asking how you became such a light weight.

So here's to hiding your liquor inside beer and finding the middle ground.