What Does Purdue Have to Offer Caleb Swanigan?

Yes, we're still waiting on Caleb Swanigan, and the silence if deafening. It is so deafening that crazy rumors are being spouted. there is a rumor that his decommitment from Michigan State centered around not having a personal chef or private living quarters on campus. This stuff if getting crazy now, so when you want more crazy, go to Twitter!

After asking people what Purdue should offer him in order to get him to commit there were some great responses:

@HammerAndRails "vitamins, advils, and bloody Mary's delivered every morning of grandprix week"

— Javier (@jjcastaneda) May 12, 2015

@HammerAndRails considering Purdue doesn't know how to cheat this could take a while.

— boilergrad (@Boilers32) May 12, 2015

@HammerAndRails A solid Organizational Leadership education and the 4 spot?

— FlinderDude (@flinderdude) May 12, 2015

@HammerAndRails Prez house, booze and women. Also to close down Where Else just for him whenever he wants... I'm old, is that still open?

— Russell S. (@takeereasydude) May 12, 2015

@crimsonquarry @HammerAndRails since IU knows how to get sanctioned. Any realistic ideas on how to backdoor recruiting and get him here

— boilergrad (@Boilers32) May 12, 2015

@HammerAndRails the boilermaker special will not be coming by your dorm on Saturday mornings to wake you up. Will avoid.

— Javier (@jjcastaneda) May 12, 2015

@HammerAndRails Never has to go to class, a new car, and unlimited food from Triple XXX.

— Matt Brinkman (@chefbrink) May 12, 2015

@HammerAndRails Never has to go to class, a new car, and unlimited food from Triple XXX.

— Matt Brinkman (@chefbrink) May 12, 2015

@Boilers32 @HammerAndRails may want to ask Frank Kendrick ...

— Brian Clark (@ruaboileriam) May 12, 2015

Endless Busch Light! https://t.co/MfxwGA9CIg

— John Purdue (@NotPurdueSports) May 12, 2015

.@HammerAndRails So Bottled Busch Light then?

— John Purdue (@NotPurdueSports) May 12, 2015

So what can Purdue really offer?

• Burial on campus a long, long way down the line.
• The largest Rube Goldberg Machine in the world to inflate the balloons for his welcoming party.
• A live Jim Gaffigan performance.
• His own TV channel thanks to Brian Lamb, creator of CSPAN
• A brand new John Deere since an alum is the CEO of John Deere.
• Popcorn. Lots and lots of popcorn.
• Instead of a private jet, his own damn airport.
  
• McDonald's (all of it)
• The Moon (literally. We can get him a seat on the next moon mission!)