clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

The Other College Football Playoff

New, 11 comments

Someone has to be the worst in college football.

Mark Dolejs-USA TODAY Sports

Today's football has been fun to watch, especially with the first College Football Playoff semifinals being played. The two games will help determined who the best team in the country is.

So why not have another playoff? If we can find out who the best team is, why not the worst team from a major conference? Thanks to readers @GregMcLNK and @funrunr1 we have a good idea of who the teams could be if you had a four-team playoff from the worst major conference teams. The format is the same, except the losers would advance to a Toilet Bowl, played at the Barrow HS stadium in Barrow, Alaska, where that loser would be crowned as the worst major conference team in America.

No. 1 seed: Iowa State Cyclones - Iowa State was a spotless 0-9 in the Big 12 and had a loss to an FCS team in North Dakota State. Then again, North Dakota State could beat A LOT of FBS programs, but they beat the Cyclones by 20 points. Iowa State was 2-10 overall with a 37-30 win over Toledo and an inexplicable 20-17 win over Iowa. This team always seems to trip up Iowa even when they are terrible and it is one of the more bizarre rivalries out there. That makes Iowa's 0-4 record this year in rivalry games look even worse.

No. 2 seed: Colorado Buffaloes - Thank goodness weed is legal in Colorado, because the football certainly is not good. Colorado was winless in the Pac-12 and they have only won four conference games in the four years since making the move. Colorado beat UMass 41-38 at UMass, which is a place no power five conference team with any dignity should ever go. They also beat Hawaii 21-12 at home. Though the Buffs were winless in their conference they were competitive. Losses to California and UCLA were in double overtime. Losses to Oregon State, and Utah were both within a touchdown.

No. 3 seed: Vanderbilt Commodores - UMass continues its tour of giving very bad football teams wins as they lost 34-31 at Vanderbilt, who went 3-9 overall and 0-8 in the totally awesome SEC. How bad was Vanderbilt? They only beat their FCS opponent (Charleston Southern) 21-20. The dropoff for Vandy was astonishing after losing James Franklin. They were 9-4 and a bowl winner in 2013, but returned to their traditional Vanderbilt roots. In five of their 12 games they had 10 points or less.

No. 4 seed: Wake Forest Demon Deacons - Wake finished the season 3-9 and went 1-7 in ACC play. Their only victory in conference play was a 6-3 double overtime win over Virginia Tech. Yes, that score is correct. It was 6-3 in DOUBLE OVERTIME. If not for overtime rules this would have been a 0-0 tie. The other two wins were 24-21 over Army and 23-7 to Gardner-Webb. They lost to non-power conference teams Utah State and Louisiana-Monroe. Their season high for points was only 24 and they didn't score more than 21 in a conference. They even gave Syracuse its only conference win 30-7.

Just missing the cut:

Purdue Boilermakers - See! It could be worse. We at least won a conference game (over a bowl team, no less! AND ON THE ROAD!). We also beat a second bowl team in Western Michigan, who turned out to be a pretty damn good MAC team. Fortunately, you can have only four teams in this playoff and there isn't enough room for us. For once, we're too good! Also, if we had replaced Iowa State it would have been an all black and gold playoff.

Kansas Jayhawks - It wouldn't seem right to have a playoff without Kansas here, but they did win a conference game thanks to Iowa State. Unlike Purdue, they also could beat Central Michigan (24-10). Their moment in the sun was an inexplicable 34-30 loss to TCU where they lead deep into the second half. That's the same TCU that had a single 3-point road loss to Baylor and completely destroyed a once No. 1 Ole Miss yesterday.