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BOW DOWN TO YOUR BIG TEN OVERLORD

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LORD PETE SHOWS NO MERCY. HE SHALL RULE WITH AN IRON FIST AND A HAMMER

ALL HAIL YOUR NEW KING
ALL HAIL YOUR NEW KING
Eric Francis

5,422,716 HAVE SPOKEN. PURDUE PETE IS YOUR NEW RULER.

NO, HE DID NOT CHEAT. ALL ELECTIONS BASED OUT OF CHICAGO ARE ALWAYS FAIR. WE ALL KNOW THAT.

IN THE MEAN TIME, LORD PETE HAS MADE HIS FIRST RULINGS.

SPARTY, YOU HAD A RESPECTABLE 13% OF THE VOTE. PETE HAS DECIDED THAT YOU WILL BE SPARED THE PUNISHMENT.

TESTUDO AND THE SCARLET KNIGHT, YOU HAVE SHOWN THAT YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THE BIG TEN BY GETTING LESS THAN 1,000 POINTS EACH. EVEN WILLY GOT OVER 2,000 VOTES.  AS A RESULT, YOUR SCHOOLS SHALL BE BANISHED TO DIE IN THE LONGHORN NETWORK WHERE THERE SHALL BE WAILING AND GRINDING OF TEETH.

(but BTN gets to stay in the NYC and DC markets)

THE REST OF THE MASCOTS WILL SEE PETE'S WRATH THE REST OF THE YEAR. AS FOR YOU, INDIANA, ILLINOIS, AND MICHIGAN, PETE HAS DECIDED YOUR NEW MASCOTS. YOUR ABSENCE MAY CONTINUE ON THE FIELD, BUT NOT IN YOUR CHEERING SECTION.

FOR YOU MICHIGAN, YOUR MASCOT SHALL BE THE WALMART WOLVERINE! YOU ALREADY HAVE 109,901 SHOW UP EVERY SATURDAY. THIS SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM FOR YOU.

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FOR ILLINOIS, A CORRUPT GOVERNOR! HE EVEN WEARS YOUR SCHOOL COLORS WITH PRIDE.

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FOR INDIANA, THOUGH YOU MAY CONSIDER A MIDGET IN SOUTH BEND TO BE YOUR MASCOT IN THE FALL, AND 5 PIECES OF PAPER IN THE WINTER, THEY CLEARLY DO NOT REPRESENT YOUR UNIVERSITY. NORMALLY, LORD PETE DOES NOT LISTEN TO HIS SLAVES, BUT THIS TIME HE DID, AND HE HAS CHOSEN RYNE SMITH AFTER A STRONG LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION FROM TOM CREAN.

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HAIL PETE!