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You Oughta Be Proud: The Breakdown

I watched this video so you didn't have to.

Already better quality than anything in the actual video
Already better quality than anything in the actual video

A poorer quality version, if that is possible, has now been reposted on the internet under the rule that nothing is ever fully deleted on the Internet. So it is time for a Daniel Tosh-style breakdown on this thing:

0:02 - Okay guys, you get some credit for using old-school footage of the football team, I am a big fan of this, even if it has a Fisher Price My first Keyboard playing in the background. This keyboard is the only instrument you will hear the entire time.

0:10 - "The Black and Gold known across the nation as the one place everybody knows." well, except for the fact that most people outside the Midwest have no idea we're not a private school or even in the Big Ten. At least now we'll be known as, "the school with no football highlights since 1967."

0:16 - EXCESSIVE WHITE GUY DANCING ALL OVER CAMPUS! If I did not know better I would think these guys were having a seizure. It's like they are performing to a beat that has never existed in any song in the history of music. Ever.

0:30 - Credit given for at least having attractive girls in the middle coming down the steps at Ross-Ade.

0:36 - Random Matt Painter cameo. This is the blackest mark he has left on the basketball program. Yes, it is worse than failing to land Gary Harris, Glenn Robinson III, and Branden Dawson.

0:42 - "And here's a shout-out to my peeps in the Greek system." Yes, this is an actual line from this song. Hang in there, everyone. Just a little over two minutes to go and it is all over.

0:51 - "Now go and grab your trunks for a fountain run.", which is fine except for 1. guys being shirtless who probably shouldn't be shirtless, and 2. YOU DIDN'T EVEN USE THE RIGHT FOUNTAIN! IT IS THE ENGINEERING FOUNTAIN THAT MADE FOUNTAIN RUNS FAMOUS, YOU FOOLS! ARE YOU IU PLANTS THAT MADE THIS VIDEO TO MAKE US LOOK BAD?

0:59 - "We have a nuclear reactor in the double-E hall". No, we don't. That is an urban legend, and it is supposed to be under the engineering mall, not in EE.

1:01 - Oh God, the BMS VII makes an appearance. Remind me to yell at BoilerPaulie for getting the Reamers to sanction this.

1:03 - "You can always hear the whistle for the special, bringing the storm." What in the...?

I have been a Purdue fan all my life and started attending games in 1987, long before most of these kids were even born. I have NEVER heard "bringing the storm" as a reference to the BMS' whistle.

1:06 - At least they got a nice shot of sledding Slayter. Not sure how they did it without snow.

1:17 - It's the first appearance of a black guy in a rap video! Even Eminem gets Dre to make an appearance long before now. And no, this is not a racist statement because rap is a predominantly black genre and everyone knows this, so calm down.

1:20 - "We've got a big Drum. We can't be outdone." This is not a challenge for people to out-do them. Please, stop before you think to yourself, "Hey, I can do a better than those guys."

1:24 - So let's all Boiler Up!" With the enthusiasm of people undergoing surgery, apparently.

1:29 - "Yeah and here's the legacy we left behind A small step for a man and giant leap for mankind." Forget the nuclear reactor. We can power hundreds of cities with the energy of Neil Armstrong spinning in his grave over this.

1:41 - Random white guy dunk out of nowhere!

1:48 - "We've got Nobel Prizes, well our people got a dozen So if you're lacking chemistry or peace, man we got ‘em" - Except we have 13 Nobel Prize winners, not 12. Perhaps they meant a Baker's Dozen?

1:59 - "Better warn the Big Ten to get off the tracks." Oh God, the name of my old blog. Also, It will be hard to get off the tracks with them rolling in hysterics.

2:06 - History lesson time! With an epic BREAKDOWN! Let's drop some knowledge on these fools just like Dre used to do when he gave a cultural breakdown of Compton over the decades.

2:13 - "Look at our accomplishments!" - Okay, pretend you didn't go to Purdue for a moment. Would you know of a single accomplishment outside of an incorrect number of Nobel Laureates that are in this video? At least mention Neil here!

2:22 - "But it won't happen on its own To further our tradition and support all the future Boilermakers." THIS ISN'T EVEN A COHERENT SENTENCE! (and that is saying something considering a lot of rap.)

2:30 - This is the worst use of our fight song ever. Thank God this is almost over.

2:39 - Oh great, sunglasses McGee is back with the high notes that are just a little out of his range.

2:55 - "So let's all shoot for the moon!" Does that include jettisoning all copies of this video to the moon and never going back?

3:02 - "You Oughta Be Proud!" the eponymous mention of the title. No, I am not proud. In fact, I feel great shame over this and worse for doing this breakdown.