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Danny Hope Is Job Hunting

Danny Hope has a resume website, because of course he does.

Jamie Sabau

Alert reader @sean92672 sent me this link this morning and it is a bit of comedy gold for the Purdue football fan. There hasn't been a lot to laugh about this season, but the exploits of our former coach since he was let go almost a year ago are excellent fodder. It appears as if Danny Hope is job hunting, and he has created a website to help him.

I am not kidding.

I will give coach Hope credit. It is a very professional looking website, but I don't think it will help him much after he set fire to the bridges on his way of West Lafayette. Let's look into the site a little further.

First, he begins with an eight minute video selling Purdue's program and the Purdue way, identifying himself as head coach.

The only problem is, if you look on the YouTube page for the video, it was published July 31, 2013. Uh, coach, I don't think you can claim to be a coach of a team that fired you eight months earlier, but okay.

Danny also lists his contact info as currently living in Mammoth Cave, Kentucky. Is he actually living in the cave? I think it would be a little odd to be touring a National Park site only to see Danny running a practice behind a stalagmite somewhere in the back.

Now, onto his achievements:

Spotless NCAA Record - Pretty good, except for the multiple arrests and mysterious suspensions during your tenure at Purdue. The NCAA rarely looks into programs that go 22-27 in a four year span too. either Purdue wasn't winning because he wasn't cheating or he was very lousy at it.

500 + Conference record 8 out of 9 years as Head Football Coach in the Ohio Valley Conference and Big 10 - Uh, Danny, you went 5-7 and 4-8 in your first two years alone at Purdue, making it impossible for you to be under .500 in only one year. If you're looking at conference only records it is still impossible, as he was 2-6 in the Big Ten in 2010 and 3-5 in 2012. Sure, the 32-8 Ohio Valley Conference record was good, but that is the Ohio Valley Conference.

Commitment to Special Teams - Consistent Conference and National Statistical Leader in Special Teams during Head Football Coaching Career - Whoopty. Freaking. Do. You still regularly had punts blocked and your defenses sucked.

The achievements get even funnier on the resume:

Second coach in 30 year history of football program to go to back to back bowls - Danny, you were the third Purdue coach to go to consecutive bowls, with Jim Young and Joe Tiller doing it before you. Also, the history of the program is a lot longer than 30 years.

Beat Iowa at Kinnick Stadium for the first time in 20 years - Yes, a shitty 4-8 Iowa team, but we beat them!

Won 2 out of 3 trophy games - Indiana and Illinois, who were among the worst FBS teams in the nation in 2012. Also, would the win over Iowa make it three out of four?

Played National Championship contender Notre Dame down to last play of game and undefeated Ohio State into overtime - I am curious to see if his horseshoes and hand grenades stats are listed as well, especially since it was his decisions that led to those loses.

Signed a nationally ranked recruiting class - Well, Danny, #33 is a ranking when you rank everyone. Of that class that signed three never played a down at Purdue and a re long gone, two have been involved in an arrest, three are quarterbacks that have shifted to a new position, and after two years neither four-star commitment has made an impact. Other than that, great class!

2011 Team led the nation in kickoff return averages, making them the first team in the history of the program to lead the nation in a statistical category; player Raheem Mostart led all players individually; Kicker Carson Wiggs became the all-time leading field goal kicker in the history of Purdue football - Again, special teams accomplishments that ultimately meant very little in a 7-6 season. Wiggsd became the all-time leader in field goal percentage, not in kicks made as this implies. He is still 12 kicks behind Travis Dorsch.

Won 2 out of 3 trophy games (Beat a ranked Illinois team for The Cannon, beat IU for The Bucket) - As pointed out yesterday, Illinois is 6-22 since that game. Not exactly a juggernaut, but yes, they were ranked 25th.

2010 Led the Big Ten in kick-off coverage net - Yeah, because that is a memorable achievement when you go 4-8.

2009 Placekicker Carson Wiggs completed 59 yard field goal (longest in country) in win against Ohio State - How does this look good on him? A 59-yard field goal in the college game is almost always a product of the situation (late in a half, wind direction, position on the field) than anything. He basically said, "Yeah, go kick it."

1993, 2000
Named as one of nation's Top Ten Recruiters by Tom Lemming, ESPN Recruiting Analyst, Editor of Prep Football Report - Judging by how this year's Purdue team is performing with his recruits I think this might be a little tarnished.

Finally, there are testimonials:

As both a former Purdue football player and assistant coach, I can appreciate the great job Danny did at Purdue. His signature wins, along with progress made in key areas of the program, were significant developmental steps for Purdue football.
- Kevin Sumlin, Head Football Coach,
Texas A&M University

Which is why so many fans wish we had you as our coach, Mr. Sumlin, instead of Danny.

Ultimately, I do wish him well. I think he could be a pretty good recruiter and position coach because he built the line that protected Drew Brees, but as a head coach? HA!