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Behold! The Purdue-Iowa Trophy Of Badassery

Once again, Mrs. T-Mill has delivered. If we're going to have this bloodthirsty war with those evil corn-loving jerks from Iowa we're going to need a trophy that is worthy of the bloodlust between us. Those crazy Iowans worship Nile Kinnick, a man who can make a nifty speech and win a few football games (getting them all the way to a #9 ranking! oh boy!), but he can't even land a plane right. Our hero is a man that personifies America even today. An Eagle Scout and the first man to walk on the Moon, Neil Armstrong represents all that is good and wholesome with America.

They think we're communists, well, they are Fascists! They are intent on spreading their evil throughout the world even if they have to create an army of undead Kinnick clones to do it. To you, good sirs I remind you that Neil is not dead. he lives among us and even at the tender age of 81 he still exudes enough ballsiness and manliness to father an entire army of badasses with the waiting vestal virgins of Purdue. These are men that will come out instantly with the ability to fly jets without wings. Why without wings? because Neil LANDED A DAMN PLANE WITHOUT A WING! THAT'S WHY!

So you bring your legion of clones created by the dark arts of your Necromancy Department. We have hundreds of thousands of women willing to lay down and give birth to Neil's disciples. The winner of the new Trophy of Badassery will be decided November 19th in West Lafayette!