Boilermakings and other Purdue sports
New England Boilahmakings 3/21
by TelePunk5 on Mar 21, 2010 8:08 PM EDT
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Note; This post was written prior to the huge win today. I have no words for that right now, since my heart is pumping like I just ran a long sprint through a pool lemon juice while being chased by ill-tempered pirahna and into the arms of a naked Megan Fox. Great win Boilers!
My spring break took me on a road trip up to Boston. On the drive up there, more rain fell on the Northeast than had ever fallen at any point in history. It seemed surreal, the rain was never that severe and yet a ton of highways were closed for flooding. Every night I watched the news out there, it was just more and more about people trying to get water out of their basements. Despite all of that, I feel like I know enough about the region to help anyone reading this not feel like a tourist. Just follow these simple tips and you'll better enjoy your stay in New England.
- Never pronounce the letter R
Self-explanatory - Never assume that you know how to pronounce the name of a city
Worcester = "Woostah"
Dorchester = "Doahchestah"
No one will ever be able to explain why that is. - Say you are from Michigan
If you claim to be from Indiana, you will get to hear about what a terrible person Peyton Manning is, and how Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback to ever play (DREW!!!). If you want to save time telling people how wrong they are, claiming Michigan as a point of origin usually just gets, "Oh, sorry." - The Atlantica restaurant in Cohasset, MA is closed Tuesday nights
To save you the trouble of driving there. - Jersey Shore is not a joke
Walking around the casinos in Atlantic City, it was immediately clear that the cast of Jersey Shore are not exaggerated caricatures. They are average citizens. If anything, they are understated to make the show more tolerable for the average American. - It is illegal to use your turn signal when changing lanes
At least I assume so, since I never saw one any of the times I was cut off. - Spygate never happened
NO ONE DENIES THIS!
Aftah the jump, we get to the Boilermakings.
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Post-Senior Night Boilermakings 3/3
by TelePunk5 on Mar 3, 2010 11:34 PM EST
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Normally, I would have filled this post with lots of trash talk about Indiana, and several jokes about how terrible they are (see my Twitter feed for a few favorites). However, tonight a few of my favorite Boilermakers were playing their last home game, and that is far more important than making jokes about yet another in a long and pathetic string of Hoosier losses. Tonight was the last time Keaton Grant, Chris Kramer, and Mark Wohlford will play on Keady Court. No more Kramer moments, no more clutch 3 pointers from KG, and no more Wolfpack. It is definitely a dark day for the Purdue nation, made only slightly brighter by the inept performance of the Hoosiers. Alright, a lot brighter, but still all of us are sad to see the seniors leaving. This is the first milestone on the road to the last time we get to see this group play together. Next is the last game of the regular season at Penn State, then the last Big Ten Tournament, and finally the last March Madness and the last game of the tournament (you know, the national title). I'm sure Travis and I will be writing more about the seniors in the near future, but I just want to thank them for the home-court memories and a great four years of basketball. They will definitely be missed, and I hope they accomplish all of their goals for this season, and going forward after basketball.
I have to say, I have never wanted a shot to drop so badly in my life than when Mark Wohlford played for a few minutes near the end of the game. The entire building was pulling for you Mark. Also, thanks to IU for having not one but two players foul out. Anytime I get to do the "left right left right" cheer is a time I cherish. I'm going to miss being in the Gene Pool/Paint Crew. Some of my best memories of Purdue have been standing in that building yelling myself hoarse. I'll find a way to sneak in as grad student, mark my words. I've seen a few classes leave on senior night *cough six cough*, and, just like Painter said in his postgame speech, it really does seem like yesterday when Grant and Kramer were freshman starting with Landry and Teague. You could tell even then that they were destined for great things, and they delivered in spades.
Now that I have made myself feel old, let's get to the Boilermakings.
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Why I Was Rooting for Syracuse Boilermakings 2/27
by TelePunk5 on Feb 28, 2010 12:15 AM EST
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I was sitting here watching the ESPN pregame show for Villanova at Syracuse earlier this evening. The show began with a debate about whether or not Syracuse deserved to be ranked number 1 if they beat the Wildcats tonight, given that Kansas and Kentucky had lost earlier in the day. The Gameday crew went back and forth about if they should leapfrog Kentucky, or if Kansas still deserved to be the #1 team. After going back and forth for a few minutes, Rece Davis (directly preceding a commercial break) basically said sorry Purdue you don't belong in this discussion and then mentioned that we needed to wait and see how our rankings and seeding would fall with the loss of Hummel.
It was at this moment that I decided I would be rooting for the Orange tonight. In fact, if they win, I want them to be ranked first, especially if the Boilers take care of business against the Spartans. I want Kramer, JJ, KG, and E'Twaun to see that no one thinks they are worthy. I want them to see that even if they win a tough road game against a desperate team who gave them their best shot, it doesn't matter. I want them to see that beating the defending national runner up, a top 15 team, doesn't matter. I want them to know that no one outside of that locker room and Purdue fans think that they can win another game without Robbie.
Even throughout the game, when it was clear that Villanova wasn't coming back to win it, the commentators began to discuss #1 seeds, with nary a word about the good guys in Old Gold and Black. They haven't even lost a game in weeks, and you would think that they had lost at home to LeMoyne and Penn State. "Forget it," is the word from Bristol, the Purdue Hummels are done for the year.
Why don't I want Purdue to be the top ranked team in the country? Simple, this team plays better angry. When Manny Harris knocked out Chris Kramer what happened? Purdue went on a 30-8 run and turned a close game into a slaughter. What happened when a "superior" Big East team came to Mackey this season, and the media declared that Purdue would finally be exposed? The Boilers put on a clinic and cruised to a 15 point victory (which could have easily been 30). When this team fell behind at Alabama, they came back with such force that fans were getting ejected in frustration. So, please, by all means, let them know how bad they are supposed to be now. All of these guys know how to read, and they know what getting leapfrogged by Syracuse means for how the pollsters think of them. I will say one thing though, if they beat the Spartans, I wouldn't want to play for IU or Penn State if the Orange are number 1 come Monday.
After the jump, we get to the Boilermakings.
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Robbie Hummel's Knee Boilermakings 2/25
by TelePunk5 on Feb 25, 2010 11:22 PM EST
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My professor interrupted class today to tell us about Robbie Hummel's knee injury. For those of you who were fortunate enough to not be in engineering, I think the last time that an engineering professor interrupted class was when aliens landed on Memorial Mall and we all had to take up arms against the Niimuzh invading force. Either I'm lying about that or the mainstream media is. I'll let you decide. I never thought I would live to see the day that an engineering professor would take precious time to tell us about an athlete when he could be telling us something we won't understand until after the exam.
The room went into a frenzy. People got up and started kicking chairs in anger, grown men started crying, women were fainting left and right, the guy next to me curled up into the fetal position rocking back and forth screaming, "Why? Why is this happening to us?" The university erupted in rioting and looting. I barely managed to escape to my car and flee to safety. All of that happened in my mind of course, but I will say that I have never seen so many people try and discreetly sneak their laptops out of their bags, as if to say, "Holy crap! I forgot that I take all my notes on my computer! Every single day I take notes on this thing and today is the one day I forget until 40 minutes into class. Where is my mind?" I didn't do that. I had my laptop firmly glued to every sports news source I knew since I had walked into the room. Plan ahead fellow Boilers. How did they expect me to concentrate anyway, ROBBIE MIGHT BE OUT FOR THE SEASON! That is the biggest thing that's happened since the Niimuzh landed.
It seems that everywhere you turn, people are calling the season over. The experts and prognosticators say that Purdue is done. "Boiler Down," proclaims the front page of ESPN's Men's Basketball page. Andy Katz's latest piece is full of innuendo, implying that we shouldn't even be considered for a #1 seed anymore. Dick Vitale is talking Notre Dame basketball. Clearly he has been stricken with grief or Alzheimer's, maybe both. I'm sure you all felt the same way watching it happen last night. I felt physically ill. This morning, I was walking to my exam (way to pile on, universe) pondering what Purdue would do without Robbie. Then, I had a thought like a scene in Major League.
Jake Taylor: [Jake stands up] Well then I guess there's only one thing left to do.
Roger Dorn: What's that?
Jake Taylor: Win the whole f***ing thing.
Are they a better team with Robbie Hummel. Yes, of course, and anyone who disagrees doesn't know basketball. This isn't a one man sport, and the rest of our team can step up and finish what they started with Robbie. Who in this conference wouldn't take an E'Twaun Moore, JJ, or Kramer if they had the chance? I can't remember the last time Kramer blew a chance at a big defensive play, and containing E'Twaun means he only puts up 12. When JJ is on, he is unstoppable. LewJack is back running the point, and Keaton Grant walked near some radioactive waste that made him back into the sophomore year beast he was. I think he inherited it from Kurt Warner, who used it to play like it was 1999. If we can just get Barlow to stop with the bonehead fouls and Bade to grow up a bit, this team is capable of reaching the heights it could have reached with Robbie. Is it a harder road for the Boilers? No doubt, but Matty's boys like a fight. Top to bottom, this team is too good to count out. Anyone trying to bury the Boilers because they are missing Hummel is in for a shock.
After the jump, we get to the Boilermakings.
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Calling Out J Money Boilermakings 2/23
by TelePunk5 on Feb 23, 2010 12:11 AM EST
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Anyone who has been reading this blog for more than a couple weeks knows about "The Syracuse Incident." The short version is that T-Mill suggested that the Orange may be a teensy bit overrated and that caused Syracuse fans to come here to defend their boys. After T-Mill's opinion was swayed, he posted the now infamous apology to the 'Cuse. Our fellow Boiler blogger J Money at Boiled Sports then jokingly demanded an apology from T-Mill for predicting that Purdue would lose in East Lansing. With all of the mea culpas flying around, you would have thought that Purdue was in Canada. "Sorey aboot that, eh."
However, Purdue is located in one of the ruder former colonies and I thought, "Why should Travis have all the fun?" Part of the Purdue blogging experience is to have J Money demand an apology from you, and I feel like an outsider having never experienced it. I'm sure Purdue Pete over at the fabulous Purdue Basketball Blog feels the same. I baited J Money with a joke about his age in the last Boilermakings installment, and despite my implication that he was old enough to have gone to high school with Moses, he did not take the bait. So, I'm going to take some time before today's Boilermakings to just write outrageous things about J Money and see what happens.
- J Money stands in front you at the grocery store and writes a check for less than $20
Seriously, get a debit card. We don't have time for you to write all of that nonsense. - J Money drives slowly in the left lane, forcing you to pass him on the right
With his turn signal on, no doubt. - "Handsome Hour," more like Handsome 90 minutes
Always delivering more content than promised, like we have the kind of time to listen to it. This isn't the State of the Union sir. I can't argue with the handsome part though. - J Money is a Yankees fan
This one is actually true. Not that the others aren't, but he will admit to this one. - J Money gave advice to Kyle Orton
That advice? "Sliding is for losers. Winners hurdle defenders when they are about to be tackled. Now go out there and show Wisconsin that you are a winner!" - J Money designed, manufactured, and marketed that noisy toy your kid always plays with
For those of you raising little Boilermakers. - J Money did not care for The Godfather
It insists upon itself. - J Money was a key grip for Jersey Shore
Which means he was partially responsible for that abomination. - J Money lives in Texas
How much snow have you brushed off your car J? What's that? You live on the equator and don't even own a jacket? La dee da. - J Money knows why Tila Tequila is famous
He refuses to tell anyone the reason. - J Money was responsible for the cancellation of both Chapelle's Show and Flight of the Conchords
What do you have against smart comedy J? - J Money has Tim locked in his basement
That is why Tim hasn't posted on Boiled Sports since November 2009. - J Money wrote Nickelback's entire catalog
That's right, both songs. - J Money is boilerdowd
Have you ever seen them in the same room together? Me either. I think that boilerdowd is just J Money's IndyCar loving alter ego. The Handsome Hour is then the delusional ravings of a madman. He has two personalities; one with a radio voice, and his higher pitched compatriot who argues for control of the fragile psyche of this delusional mind.
I have more ridiculous accusations I could sling at J Money, but I think I have written his name enough that this will show up on the front page of the Google results if you search for it. I demand that you demand an apology J Money. After the jump, we get to the Boilermakings.
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Living on the Financial Edge Boilermakings 2/21
by TelePunk5 on Feb 21, 2010 2:25 AM EST
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They tell you a lot of things in first year engineering. "You are going to get a great job," is one of the more truthful things they say. "The dropout rate isn't as bad as you hear," is one of the bald faced lies. "Put away the laptops, because I know you are playing flash games on the internet," is one of the worst (true story; my friend and I used to spend all of freshman seminar playing Bomberman in the back. He failed out.). What puzzles me is the stuff they don't tell you. For example, "By the way, get some extra loans senior year, because there are a thousand things you need to do and each of them cost a more than a Kia." Since I am paying for my education, I try to be very conservative with my student loans. This has led to some extra belt tightening this semester, thanks to some unexpected certification tests and grad school applications. Not that it is so bad, don't get me wrong, it's just like a trip back to freshman year. When ramen noodles were a meal, and not what you eat when drunk because you can't wait for the pizza guy. When MD 20/20 and Keystone become things you willingly purchase and drink. Getting paid will be awesome one day.
The poverty is part of the college experience, of course. Sometimes you just need more scratch around for when your crappy laptop has problems or something like that. All the years of cooking the books like Enron caught up to me and I ended up having to choose between the electric bill and the phone bill this month. Since I am not texting this to T-Mill one sentence at a time you can imagine which one I chose. Like all people my age, my entire life rotates around my plastic Korean made Samsung overlord. You can imagine the withdrawal symptoms are significant. On one hand, I feel like I'm attending college back before cell phones when you carved out messages on granite slabs and carried them uphill both ways to J Money's dorm room. That illusion is quickly shattered when you realize that everyone else is talking to each other behind your back and you are a beard away from being Amish. I will be out stealing televisions for you AT&T.
After the jump, we get to the Boilermakings.
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Cheap Candy Day Boilermakings 2/15
by TelePunk5 on Feb 15, 2010 10:30 AM EST
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The days after Valentine's Day, Easter, and Halloween are easily the greatest days of the candy year. Today is the day that people like me go to the grocery stores and buy all that candy that our collective girlfriends didn't get for 70% off. If I had to rank these day after holidays, you've got to put November 1st as number 1. Halloween is the candy holiday, which means anything you can think of is on sale. Like Snickers? 200 for $3.29. I would put February 15th a close second. Not so much for the cheap candy, because I don't care what anyone says those chalk hearts are terrible, even the hearts that agree with me.
The day after Valentine's Day is when all of the fancy mints and truffles and crap are on sale. The lower quality stuff is still full price thanks to Easter, but today is the day we can all enjoy the finer candies for a reasonable price. It is one of the finer days to be a member of the proletariat. Easter's saving grace is the Reese's egg. Would I buy Reese's eggs year round? Damn right I would. That is the ideal shape for peanut butter and chocolate consumption.
Yes, I am overweight, why do you ask? After the jump, we get to the Boilermakings.
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Grassy Knoll Boilermakings 2/11
by TelePunk5 on Feb 11, 2010 9:39 PM EST
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There are strange things that happen in this world all of the time. A friend of mine ordered a Kindle, and Amazon accidently sent them an extra one. After years of driving my usual route to campus never having seen even the most minor fender bender, I came upon a 6 car pile up today. Someone once got killed by a meteorite, which as we all know is God's sniper rifle. An IU alum made an amazing play to intercept one of the most talented quarterbacks ever to play football and clinch the championship this very week. Most of us can look at these things happening around us, shrug, and move on with our lives. Well, you know, except for the meteor guy.
Sports has always been a place for wild speculation. In his most recent mailbag, Bill Simmons wonders what would have happened if the Celtics had got the 2nd pick in the 2007 NBA draft and taken Kevin Durant rather than trading for KG. Cubs fans still argue about whether or not we go to the World Series if Steve Bartman could've kept his hands to himself. Remember 4th & 2? Everyone and their mother had an opinion about whether or not Belichick made the right call. Indeed, the entire purpose of blogs like this one is to explore those fun questions that we all have. We read here everyday to talk about how the rest of the season is going to shake out, or who is in the running for the starting quarterback job, or if Ron Zook and Rich Rodriguez will star in a coming of age teen drama (tentatively titled 'Waterskiing on Tears', your move Hollywood). So, when Peyton Manning threw the deciding pick six in the Super Bowl, it was only natural for all of us to wonder about that play. Did Reggie run a bad route, or did Peyton make a bad read? Was Tracy Porter just in the right place at the right time? What if he hadn't caught the ball, do the Colts come back for another 4th quarter win? This is what makes sports fun; all of the what ifs. Unless, of course, you write for Bleacher Report then there must be something darker afoot...
Find out what I mean after the jump along with the rest of the Boilermakings.
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