By now, we've all seen that B.J. Knauf and Jordan Woods not only stole from Kohl's, but also only stole $40 worth of merchandise, which is extremely pathetic.
They could have at least gone to the other end of the mall, poked around at Macy's and then drive away in a stolen nice car. But no, not only did they go to Kohl's, they also stole only $40 worth of merchandise.
In response, here are other items from Kohl's they could have also stolen worth more than $40. These aren't the sexiest things at Kohl's, but when you steal tie bars, then nothing is off limits. Add your own suggestions that they could have stolen from Kohl's in the comments section. (It just has to be worth more than $40.)
Keurig K10 MINI Plus Personal Coffee Brewer: $79.99
With Coach Hazell's 6am practices, you're going to need something to keep you awake for class later on. This Keurig is simple and easy to use, and with so many different types of K-Cups, you'll have more options than the Nordfense had quarterbacks!!
Chaps Wool Pleated Black Suit Jacket: $120.00
Coach Hazell wants his players to be dressed up for pregame and the 211 Session, but fancy clothes aren't cheap! Why do you think they wanted those tie bars so bad? So why not look sharp with this fine jacket that will make the opposition jealous of your style. Don't forget to take the matching pants on the way out, on sale for only $69.99!
Dickies Sanded Duck Hooded Jacket - Big & Tall: $97.99
Jordan Woods is probably used to winter being from Ypsilanti, Michigan, but Knauf is from Florida and the temperatures are going down in West Lafayette (just like his chances for playing for Purdue this season), so why not keep yourself warm with this jacket from Dickies! It comes in black or old gold so you can always show your Boilermaker pride off the field and in the courtroom!
JanSport Big Student Backpack: $62.00
Coach Hazell is putting a larger focus on academics than Danny Hope did, so you're going to need a bigger backpack for all your notebooks and textbooks. But now that you're on your way out, you can also use the backpack to store your stuff to help you move! BizzyMama of Minnesota said these backpacks are large enough to fit winter gear in there and they're super durable! So now stuffing that Dickies jacket in with everything else will be a breeze and it won't feel heavy on your back!
iHome App-Friendly Alarm Clock: $49.99
Remember those 6am workouts? They're tough to wake up for, but with this alarm clock, you can wake up and jam your way to Mollonkopf! Don't forget to set up your Keurig the night before so you can be set for a fantastic Boilermaker morning!
And last, but certainly not least:
Shark Sonic Duo+ Floor and Carpet Cleaner: $249.99
To clean up the shit stains the team has left after the first 5 games.
What else could they have stolen from Kohl's worth more than $40? Comment below.