With a shortened hate week beginning, I've spent some time lately trying to determine just exactly why I hate Indiana University with such a passion. It stemmed from hearing Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll Part 2", which to 95% of the free world is better known as "The Hey Song". Like many recent Purdue students and alumni, I shouted "IU SUCKS" right in the middle of it. This Pavlovian response caused me to really look inside and wonder why I hate IU so much. One could very easily argue that they are a superior team this year (I'm referring to basketball obviously), and there isn't a lot of room for a counter argument from us, at least until we play on Sunday. So it would seem to follow that I would have no right to shout "IU SUCKS", something their fan base is quick to point out. And yet, I continue to do so, and do so with a great deal of pride.
I realized that I don't shout "IU SUCKS" just in reference to their athletic programs. Neither is it just their fans, who aren't all bad. It's not their academics, which outside of West Lafayette are widely respected. It's not their campus, which is actually very attractive and inviting. It's not their students either, I had several good friends go to IU. For some reason that I can't exactly put my finger on, I just hate the whole package rolled up into one. It's like subtraction by addition. Individually speaking, I don't have a problem with any of the things that make IU what it is. When you put it all together though, it becomes this loathsome, toxic, pungeant crap pile that I find to be utterly repulsive.
I really hate IU. I mean I REALLY hate IU. When I'm walking through a store and I see a rack of IU apparel next to a rack of Purdue apparel, I go out of my way to move a Purdue item in front of each IU item so that no IU item can be seen by a casual passer by. If it's a display that isn't easily covered up, I'll do something to screw up the IU display, while making the Purdue display neat and tidy. If it's only an IU display, I'll turn the items around so that the IU logos can't be seen. Such is my degree of loathing toward IU. Do I have issues? Meh, probably. But I know for a fact that I'm not the only one doing things like this.
Why do we hate IU so much? It's almost like it's embedded in my DNA somewhere. No other person in my family has ever attended Purdue, so I know I wasn't born this way. Perhaps my genes were altered in some way while I was screaming my lungs out in Mackey? Maybe my chromosomes were realigned while I was marching in the All American Marching Band? I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the way I was forever conditioned to hate all things cream and crimson.
I don't want anyone to think I wish ill on their players, coaches, students, or anything else affiliated with IU. I would never cheer for an injury, or shout obscenities at players. One, it's classless, two, it's bad sportsmanship, and three, I don't want my Boilers treated that way. On the other hand, I would love nothing more than for the spirit of Shadowcat to bat away every single IU shot on Sunday, resulting in the first college basketball shutout in recorded history. I would laugh like Dr. Evil as their seniors plodded off the court on their senior night, weeping. On second thought, I might feel a little bad for them. Just a little. Perhaps I would only snicker instead of an outright laugh.
All I know is that no matter what, I'll always think IU sucks. Plain and simple. If I were to be offered a full ride scholarship to IU for a graduate degree vs. paying my way at Purdue, I'd pick Purdue every time. Hell, I'd rather pay my way through Indiana State than go to IU for free.
Bottom line: IU SUCKS. I don't care if they go undefeated 10 seasons in a row in every scholarship sport, I'll still scream IU SUCKS. Why? Because I hate them, and I'm proud to hate them.
Hate week (Er, hate for 4 days) is officially open. Share your reasons for IU hating below.
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