FanPost

Hate week finale

Ed Note: T-Mill here again, thanking AAMB Boiler for some quality haterade posts this week. once again, he gets a Front Page nod.

Well, here we are, we've reached the eve of our showdown with our real most hated rival. This week I've chronicled why it's so easy to hate (and in one case love) the Hoosiers. So far I've given perfectly valid reasons as to why every IU coach for the past 4 decades has been awful, with one exception, Mike Davis. He sucked so bad he's not even worth the time it would take me to write about him. There. He's covered. Today, I want to get to the real heart of our rivalry. Who do all Purdue fans hate the most? It's not a coach, and it's not even a player. No, it's the IU fans themselves. I know perfectly competent and respectful IU fans will read this, and please know that my loathing is not for those select few. You know who you are. The rest of you, I hope you're thirsty, because I'm servin' up a nice frosty glass of haterade.

This is a textbook example of a typical IU fan. Note that the photos are taken in Oregon, where this particular fan ended up after a week long bender, twice. They are police photos, no doubt taken after an arrest due to public nudity or something idiotic like that. In 2005, things were going well for IU, and we can see that while he's probably not the brightest, he's getting by. He's not particularly well kept, but he may have had a shower in the last week. Note that at least the facial hair is groomed, and the hair appears to have been washed. Next, look at 2008. IU's basketball program has gone down the crapper, and this poor fan wasn't far behind. Remember how I said yesterday that IU basketball became a dumpster fire under Crean? Well, from the looks of things, this guy was still sleeping in the dumpster when the fire started. He's become addicted to meth, and he only showers when IU wins on the road, which is almost never. Also, it would seem that he has used his big toenail to shave. Not to worry however, he can still point to IU's five national championship banners, and shout witty comments like "Purdon't". Hilarious.

This is the hallmark of what IU calls it's "fanbase". People who never attended IU, don't have any family who went to IU, and have never even stepped foot on IU's campus. Their only connection at all to the university is that "Indiana" is printed on their birth certificate. These fans were very dismayed when they learned that this did not grant them a free education. That's okay though, most of these fans have no education beyond the 3rd grade. Truly, if one of these people shows up at your house to rob you, hide your valuables in a bookcase. They'll never look there, they have no idea how to read a book that doesn't have pictures.

They don't let their lack of intelligence dissuade them from insulting Purdue graduates however. I've experienced first hand how much it hurts to have my degree insulted from the "employees only" side of the Mcdonalds counter. I still carry that pain with me today as I sit in my corner office adorned in black and gold.

What I think is great about Purdue's fanbase is it's passion and dedication. While it's true that we have yet to bring home a national championship in men's basketball, that doesn't stop us from filling every seat in Mackey for every game. (Not including the god awful seats reserved for royalty, or the president) IU fans on the other hand, have come out of nowhere this season, in your local shopping mall, grocery store, or anywhere else they can find you wearing your favorite Purdue apparel. These fans have appeared seemingly overnight, one is forced to wonder where have they been the last few years? The answer is simple, wearing Notre Dame jerseys of course!

Perhaps the greatest proof of the disparity in the passion of the respective fanbases is right here. Look at any H&R open game thread, you won't find one with less than 600 comments for a non-conference garbage game, and usually close to 1000 for a conference game. Take a peek over at the Quarry's game thread from the Michigan game. When the game concluded, it had 140 comments. There has been some back and forth with H&R people to bump the number up a tad since the conclusion of the game, so at the time of this writing it sits at a whopping 169. What's even sadder is this, an actual screenshot from that game thread, not edited in any way:


It's just two dudes bitching back and forth about how IU sucks. I mean yeah, they do suck, and if I were to be so unfortunate as to be a fan of IU basketball, I'd bitch too. But this conversation could be accomplished much more efficiently over something called a telephone. Seriously, look at the timestamps here! This exchange took 11 minutes! The phone could have easily done the job a fraction of that time, it was designed for a two person conversation.

I can picture it now, someone will say, "That was just a small sample of the thread, it wasn't really like that." Well, if you don't believe me you can see for yourself here, or you can check out this statistical breakdown (in order of appearance):

User Name --------------- # of comments ------%of total comments

87 rides a surfboard ----------6 ----------------------4.29

85 rides a surfboard ----------1 ----------------------.714

Lonestar Hoosier--------------59---------------------42.1

JustAJ-----------------------------50---------------------35.7

danorocks17-------------------12---------------------8.57

corvus----------------------------3-----------------------2.14

Boiler Bandsman-------------2----------------------1.42

Uncle Menno-------------------7-----------------------5

I would call this a conversation dominated by two people. When two people account for 77.8% of the comments on a 140 comment thread, they should just get on the phone.

I know I'm being mean, maybe even cruel, but seriously, where is this IU "fanbase" that so vastly outnumbers ours? I'll show you where.

Can't really blame them, I'd do the same if I had to watch the putrid garbage fest that is IU basketball.

Finally, what I think every Purdue fan has enjoyed lately are the never ending proclamations that IU basketball is "back". Now that topic is up for debate among many of IU's sensible fans (all 27 of them), but the rest are buying up "We're Back" T-shirts as fast as they can be churned out. They had better churn faster too, it's just a matter of time before these moron fans realize that the only thing IU is back to is failure and falling short of expectations. Never mind, I forgot, 3rd grade education. Put a picture of a sun with a smiley face on the shirts and you'll triple your sales.

Guys from the Quarry, if you're still reading at this point, I know I ragged on you pretty hard. Please know that these are all in good natured fun. I certainly don't intend to spoil the positive relationship between our respective blogs. Once hate week has concluded, I'd be happy to sit down over a beer.

Until then, let's light up the threads here today and Saturday, show 'em how real fans do it. BTFU, and POTFH.

P.S. I promised JustAJ I would post a link to his counter-haterade today in my finale, so that maybe more than 10 people would read it. He said he's been working on it for several days, so throw the guy a bone and read his piece. When I see that it's up I'll edit this and post a link here.

Items in the FanPosts is entirely at the discretion of those that post them. They do not represent the views of Hammer & Rails, SBNation, or Purdue University in any way.

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