The Fortnight Of Hate
by BoilerTMill on Nov 14, 2011 2:00 PM EST
in Football
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I have to give credit the reader mattdsm for coming up with the theme for the next two weeks. The time has finally come for us to release the rage we have been saving for the week, the day, and the hour it has been prepared for. In two weeks we commence operations to rescue the Bucket, while this week Jim Delaney finally loses his ability to hold back the seething rage in the Iowa-Purdue series. He succeeded in keeping the peace for two years by preventing us from playing them, but much like the Hatfields and McCoys, the Palestinians and Israelis, and the Kardashians vs. everyone, the hatred cannot be held at bay.
The Fortnight of Hate has begun.
Our Most Hated Rival is a sneaky one. They claim to love America because Ricky Stanzi loves America. They revere Nile Kinnick because he was a scholar, student body President, Heisman Trophy winner, Naval aviator, and he had the ability to make women ovulate spontaneously with his dashing good looks. In reality, they know they can never be as good as us. They just can't deal with the facts:
- Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, while Kinnick couldn't land a plane.
- Our black and gold is actually black and gold, not black and pee yellow.
- We're supposed to be afraid of a bunch of old people? Iowa has the highest percentage of people over 85.
- The state gave us Herbert Hoover, who was only President when the U.S. fell headlong into the Great Depression.
- The University of Iowa gave us Ashton Kutcher, Tom Arnold, the non-blinking Jim Caldwell, Lou Holtz (assistant coach 1960), and the closest they have ever come to producing a President was the actor that played Wayne Palmer (the bad President Palmer) on 24.
- They know that Boilermakers are awesome, as Sally Mason, a Purdue grad, is their university President.
- Iowa loves them some meth. In fact, it has been dubbed the Meth Capitol of the World.
- Their football fans are fascists and have an affinity for groupthink.
- No state should have as much power as Iowa does in choosing a President no matter where your politics lie.
- They actively have a Department of Necromancy trying to make zombie clones of Nile Kinnick, using the cover story of "his body was never found" to hide their research.
Evil like this must not go unchecked. We at Purdue take great pride in the way our University acts as Defenders of Freedom. We have worked on the Manhattan Project, Designed the Golden Gate Bridge, Landed on the Moon, and have fought the evils of Communism near and far. In this month of November, when we are growing manly ‘staches that literally ooze testosterone, we have the power to win the day.
Our turf must be defended and we must stand in the way of the injustices that Iowa wishes to bring upon this world. Only those outside this rivalry of bitter hatred think it is simply a football game on Saturday. To the winner not only goes the Trophy of Badassery above, but control of the world for good... or evil.
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I submit that we should call them jOMHR
Manager at BT Powerhouse a Big Ten basketball blog
@babaoreally
by babaoreally on Nov 14, 2011 2:20 PM EST via mobile reply actions 2 recs
I hate the Hawkeyes with the passion of 1,000 burning, white-hot suns
I can hardly remember the time when I didn’t loathe them. (Hey… a lot has happened in my life in the last two years.)
IT IS ON
I will not stand by and watch you slander the good reputation of our fine state and university while claiming to have “landed on the moon”. You lie like Iowa produces pork and meth.
DRUNJIFORNICATION
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Nov 14, 2011 3:14 PM EST reply actions
and soybeans
credit where it’s due
A man may leave Iowa, but Iowa never leaves a man.
by hawkeyeinstl on Nov 14, 2011 8:22 PM EST up reply actions
OK I'm confused..
I’ve clearly missed something but since when did Iowa become our OMHR? Is this something that B1G imposed on us or made us want to think when they split us up into divisions even though we don’t really care for Iowa or ever really play them? I feel like you guys are just being sarcastic and need someone to confirm this lol
Iowa has ALWAYS been Our Most Hated Rival
Seriously, though, when they created the divisions, they put Purdue and Iowa in separate divisions, and gave each team a “protected rivalry” game between divisions. Ohio State and Michigan are in different divisions but will always play each other.
Our protected rivalry is with Iowa, OUR MOST HATED RIVAL!
Burn the Hawkeyes!
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Senior All-American Alto Sax
Totally based on sarcasm,
especially since there is a joint H&R/BHGP tailgate this weekend.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
rec'd!
To your call once more we rally....
by BoilerPaulie on Nov 15, 2011 1:06 AM EST up reply actions
My hatred for Iowa is unfathomable
Back in the day, it was a common prank during rivalry week to sneak onto their campus, steal the infant children of Hawkeye fans and raise them to be engineers. It was pretty elaborate and expensive, but it really stuck it to them! Ah, the good ’ol days…
- Contributor/Editor/ All-around embarrassment at Hammer & Rails
- Follow my unintelligible musings at: @PurdueBBall
by Purdue_Pete on Nov 14, 2011 5:08 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
The great storm of November 14th
is an omen of the doom that will rain down upon the Hawkeyes this Saturday!
We shall smash them from the skies!
you mean the pea-sized hail that pelted me on my way back to my car
during the 5 minutes between the expiration of one tornado warning and the issuance of another one? yeah, that was fun.
To your call once more we rally....
by BoilerPaulie on Nov 15, 2011 1:08 AM EST up reply actions
They Are Beneath Our Contempt
WHO dumped a truckload of Fizzies into the swim meet?
WHO delivered the medical school cadavers to the Alumni Dinner?
Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every Halloween, the toilets explode.
We’re talking, of course, about the Hawkeyes. Come Saturday, they are…TOAST.
by U-P Boilermaker on Nov 14, 2011 5:52 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Why?
Why are we growing mustahces?
by Boiler314 on Nov 14, 2011 6:31 PM EST via mobile reply actions
because we can
And Iowa CAN’T!
BOILERr UP!! Hoosiers DOWN!!
by sixmikey9 on Nov 14, 2011 6:48 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Oh come ON now!
The Hawkeyes are defined by nothing if not Hayden Fry, and that man had lip trimmins’ a-plenty!
A man may leave Iowa, but Iowa never leaves a man.
by hawkeyeinstl on Nov 14, 2011 8:20 PM EST up reply actions
If there are two things I hate, they are:
1) Hawks
2) Eyes
How dare you, Iowa.
I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more Purdue basketball
by BoileRx on Nov 14, 2011 6:34 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
Ok, this was the winner
"He lowballed us and said: 'Take it or leave it. If you don't take our offer, you are rolling the dice.' I said: 'Consider them rolled.' " - Jim "Huge Brass Balls" Delaney
by ClaybornSmash on Nov 15, 2011 11:00 AM EST up reply actions
Tim Tebow > Iowa
It’s the only thing.
Burninating the peasants...
by Tracer Bullet 82 on Nov 14, 2011 6:38 PM EST reply actions
I dont know how I fit in to all of this
Seriously confused
Football recruiting guy for Hammer and Rails
Lead blogger for 5 other sites.
Follow the Twitter for all the details
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/Riles23
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/Big10RantPurdue
Isn't it obvious?
There’s a reason he his name isn’t BoilerHawkeye…
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Senior All-American Alto Sax
Shame on him
We can only hope he doesn’t pass the condition on to his kids
I come from a land down unda
better guard your cherries this weekend.
someone might sacrifice them for Purdue’s benefit if you aren’t watching close enough.
To your call once more we rally....
by BoilerPaulie on Nov 15, 2011 1:10 AM EST up reply actions
This will be, by far, the Big 10's most genuinely good-natured rivalry
Since, as a rule, our two fanbases have precisely 0 emotional response to each other.
On a happy note, we’re friends with a family of Purdue grads so we’ll all be enjoying the game together, and REALLY HATING EACH OTHER INTENSELY WITH HATE this weekend.
A man may leave Iowa, but Iowa never leaves a man.
Purdue was the last team to beat Iowa by a 20+ point margin (in 2007)
SO I HATE YOU GUYS
A man may leave Iowa, but Iowa never leaves a man.
WIN BY LESS POINTS PLS
A man may leave Iowa, but Iowa never leaves a man.
by hawkeyeinstl on Nov 14, 2011 8:23 PM EST up reply actions
as long as we win
you have yourself a deal.
To your call once more we rally....
by BoilerPaulie on Nov 15, 2011 1:10 AM EST up reply actions
HEY NOW
“Our black and gold is actually black and gold, not black and pee yellow.”
We ripped off the Steelers. If urine is good enough for Pittsburgh, by god it’s good enough for Iowa.
“We’re supposed to be afraid of a bunch of old people? Iowa has the highest percentage of people over 85.”
That’s because WE ARE IMMORTAL.
“The state gave us Herbert Hoover, who was only President when the U.S. fell headlong into the Great Depression.”
We also gave you Tom Arnold and Ashton Kutcher. Ok, nevermind…
“The University of Iowa gave us Ashton Kutcher, Tom Arnold, the non-blinking Jim”
Shit, I should have read ahead.
“They know that Boilermakers are awesome, as Sally Mason, a Purdue grad, is their university President.”
Well, this is true. My baby boy’s room is all done up in a train motif, but he has a singing Hawkeye bear, too!
“Iowa loves them some meth. In fact, it has been dubbed the Meth Capitol of the World.”
I live in Missouri now, and I assure you that Missouri actually has Iowa beat in this category.
“No state should have as much power as Iowa does in choosing a President no matter where your politics lie.”
But “Hawkeye Caucii” is so fun to say.
“They actively have a Department of Necromancy trying to make zombie clones of Nile Kinnick, using the cover story of “his body was never found” to hide their research."
That’s not true, and it’s the Department of Necromantic Studies, and you can only minor in it.
“We have worked on the Manhattan Project, Designed the Golden Gate Bridge, Landed on the Moon, and have fought the evils of Communism near and far.”
Oh yeah? Well we are the birthplace of Johnny Carson, the ghost of Kurt Vonnegut hangs out on Van Buren Street, and we have more Ped Mall rats playing hackey sack and begging for spare change per capita than ANY OTHER CITY IN ’MERICA.
“Only those outside this rivalry of bitter hatred think it is simply a football game on Saturday. To the winner not only goes the Trophy of Badassery above, but control of the world for good… or evil.”
Seriously, we need a virtual trophy. I nominate the “Iowa-Purdue Mehmorial Trophy” to symbolize the soulshrieking anger of this pairing.
A man may leave Iowa, but Iowa never leaves a man.
by hawkeyeinstl on Nov 14, 2011 8:55 PM EST reply actions 8 recs
he may be from indy
but his restless spirit roams Iowa City in search of cigarettes and compelling portraits of a society run amok
A man may leave Iowa, but Iowa never leaves a man.
by hawkeyeinstl on Nov 15, 2011 10:31 AM EST up reply actions
See the Trophy of Badassery above
Made by Mrs. T-Mill and having the statues of Neil and Nile on it
The actual trophy is big enough to have the actual statues. It’s that awesome.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
by BoilerTMill on Nov 14, 2011 10:29 PM EST up reply actions
Neil. Nile.
Same letters.
It was meant to be!
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Senior All-American Alto Sax
Ahhh, the Boilermakers
The team who got their name because instead of actual students, they used local railroad workers on their early football teams. Gotta love that legacy of truthiness!
Perhaps that’s why you embrace something called “The World’s Largest Drum”, that isn’t actually the world’s largest drum.
"If you need a rah-rah speech at halftime, you’re playing the wrong sport." - Pat Angerer
We got our NCAA scandal out of the way early
Hell, there wasn’t even an NCAA, and we sure put Wabash College in its place.
A futile crusade to prevent mass ignorance
HammerAndRails, SBNation's Boilermaker Blog
by BoilerTMill on Nov 15, 2011 10:42 AM EST up reply actions
Thread over
DRUNJIFORNICATION
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Nov 15, 2011 12:48 PM EST up reply actions
That was semi-funny back in 2006.
Get some new material………
OH WAIT! I forgot, the internets move at a snails pace out yonder in Iowa, so this information is just now getting to you.
(FYI-Barack Obama wins the 2008 election)
Dosvidaniya, bitches! BTFU!
OH WAIT! I forgot, the internets move at a snails pace out yonder in Iowa, so this information is just now getting to you.
says the guy in Indiana
DRUNJIFORNICATION
by SaturdayMorningKegStanzis on Nov 16, 2011 12:05 PM EST up reply actions
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